Gotta Getta Sign!
by Yeto
Summary: A series of oneshots about Team Galactic's magicalness. Mainly Jupiter/Saturn and Cyrus/Mars pairings, and Mars/Dawn. New 'Shot: Halloween special! Short, sweet, and sexcellently spooky... Well it's shorter than usual at the least.
1. Why They Need a Sign

Just exactly WHY there's a sign in the Team Galactic Nap Room informing you to ensure the bed is unoccupied before entering it…

Just exactly WHY there's a sign in the Team Galactic Nap Room informing you to ensure the bed is unoccupied before entering it…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Cyrus heard the distressed scream of his top, favorite commander, Mars, floors above her in his lonely, dark office.

_She is most likely attempting to make herself a sandwich and cut herself, as usual_ he reasoned to himself, reclining back in his chair to count the Master Balls he had up on his wall containing rare or shiny Pokemon.

Suddenly he heard a knock at his door, most unexpected, considering the only person who ever willingly visited him was Mars, and she certainly hadn't had the time to run to his office from wherever she was.

"Enter," he called out to this visitor.

A pudgy grunt waddled in, half a huge, foot tall and long sub sandwich in one hand.

"Um, Cyrus sir, can you, uh, come look at this? We have a little problem, thing," he spluttered out, still chewing a large bite of food.

"Very well. Lead the way to the location of this incident," Cyrus agreed, standing up and following the slow-moving grunt down the stairs.

They spotted a crying Mars running blindly along, shrieking in horror.

"Commander Mars, you are acting very immaturely. Settle yourself immediately. MARS!" he yelled at her, but she knocked Pudge E. Grunt over and kept scurrying about.

Cyrus grabbed her and lifted her into the air as her feet flailed about. She soon realized she wasn't standing on solid ground anymore and opened her eyes to look around.

"Oh, hello Cyrus. Like, OMG, you have to see this, it's so sick and wrong! It's completely disgusting, I'm mentally scarred for life, it's just plain disturbing!" she squealed, somehow darting out of Cyrus' grasp and hugging him.

There were a multitude of other grunts and scientists bumming about with rather ill faces.

"Um, this way, Cyrus, sir," Pudge E. Grunt instructed, walking on towards an area Cyrus well knew. Mars just latched onto him and wrapped her legs around his waist, making him carry her along.

_This is NOT how I like to start my afternoon. Commander Mars is acting highly illogical and emotional, my employees look stoned, and the chubbiest member I have has been relegated to doing all this walking, what is going ON here?_ Cyrus thought to himself, glaring at Mars, who just batted her eyelashes at him.

_What is she doing?_ Cyrus pondered, eying her strangely.

"Um, look in there… and you'll see the problem, thing," the helpful grunt bowed and ran away, er, he tried to run, that is.

"Oh Cyrus it's horrible and nasty and weird! Of course it wouldn't be so bad if it was you and me, but THEM, ugh! Ew! Like, totally SICK!" Mars rambled as Cyrus attempted to shake her off, but failed.

He peered into the Team Galactic Nap Room and spotted a rather large lump of sheets violently thrashing and the bed beneath them trembling.

"What is the meaning of this haunting of the bed linens in this room upon this certain sleeping area?" he demanded, scanning the room for anyone else.

"Um, Cyrus, that's not a ghost… That's Saturn and Jupiter," Mars warily corrected him, slowly detaching herself from his personal body.

"Inform me as to how it happened they decided to share a bed. And what in the name of Arceus are they doing in it?" Cyrus asked, most likely not the most intelligent thing he could've asked the most flirtatious commander who adored him.

"Weeeeell… Saturn was looking at the videos from the secret cameras he put in Jupiter's room, namely the seven he has in her shower, and he decided he wanted the real thing. So he knows that after watching Scooby Doo Where Are You with him she always goes and takes a quick nap in the very center bed. So he ran right after the episode was over, hopped in, and waited.

"Now because Jupiter's such a stupid idiot she didn't notice the Saturn-sized lump in the bed and she got in. I always told you she was a brainless bozo and you should never have hired her! She's completely clueless! You'd think one would have enough sense to ensure one's bed was empty before getting in without needing a sign to remind you or something.

"So, she's in there, and she feels something breathing on her chest. She wonders what it is, when it licks her. Naturally she likes it and decides to see what it is. Bam, there's Saturn, taking off her clothes and sucking on her. So what does she say? 'Oooooh Saturn, that feels sooooo good, keep it uuuuuup!' So he does, until they're both naked and then they start having full-on sex. In the bed. In the open. With no door. It's practically a public place!

"The rest of us have been playing an extremely intense huuuuuge game of Monopoly and our brains are wasted from trying to count all the money and spaces, so we want to take some naps too! But what do we find? THOSE TWO FOOLS SHAGGING EACH OTHER! I mean, how can you fall asleep with that screaming and moaning going on? Seriously, do something about it Cyrus honey, like, maybe we should try and outdo them to teach them a lesson," Mars explained, winking at him and rubbing up against her boss at the end.

"What are you implying?" Cyrus asked her, completely oblivious to her advances.

"Ooooooh, forget it! Just get rid of them, AND that bed, nobody will EVER use it AGAIN!" she grunted, pouting and folding her arms.

"Very well. Commanders, I dictate you must remove yourselves from the furniture for sleeping and dispose of it, and never do this again. It is upsetting many other members, and if I had emotions it would upset me as well," he called out to his commanders as they screamed very loudly at the same time before ceasing to move and becoming quiet.

"CYRUS?!" they both screamed and jerked their heads around to look at him and Mars, who had grabbed his arm and was smiling.

"Yes."

"Oh, um, okay, uh, give us a second… we'll be out in a moment…" Saturn eyed his boss warily as Cyrus dragged Mars out.

Soon two rather red and sweaty commanders emerged from the nap room looking at the ground.

"Get rid of the bed. I must go make a sign that hopefully you will read in the future," Cyrus stated, walking off as Mars struggled to keep up with his long strides. So she jumped on his back and made him give her a piggy-back ride.

"Dang, that was good. Once we get the stupid bed outta there, wanna do it again in my room?" Jupiter asked Saturn, who readily agreed.

"Oh yeah baby, you're so hot!" he smiled and gave her a thumbs-up as the stupid female commander giggled stupidly.

Meanwhile, in Cyrus' office of DEATH…

"So Cyrus baby, whatcha makin'?" Mars wondered, sitting on his desk as he attempted to write with a large Sharpie on some poster board.

"A sign stating members must check to ensure the bed is unoccupied, what did you think I was making, a hole to China?" Cyrus rolled his eyes at her stupidity and wondered why he hired such stupid, pervy people.

"Um, no, I'm not THAT stupid! Besides, I know a few holes you'd be welcome to go exploring in anytime, if you know what I mean…" she winked at him and shifted position so she was sitting on the sign with her legs dangling on either side of him and wide open.

"Unfortunately, I do not comprehend the meaning of your illogical statement," he commented, grabbing her hip and shoving her off his desk onto the floor as he finished the sign.

"OW! I was offering to have sex with you, you idiot! Why don't you ever spend time with me?" she whined, attempting to pick herself up off the ground.

Cyrus walked by with the sign and yanked her up and threw her over his shoulder, proceeding like her weight wasn't even there.

So Mars strained her arms and grabbed his rear, massaging it.

Cyrus didn't even notice.

"I believe you are the person I spend the most time with. Considering I prefer to be alone this is naturally not that much," he bluntly stated, calling for all the grunts and scientists he encountered to follow him.

"Oooooh, spend more time with me, why don'tcha? I can make you feel soooo good…" she simpered, letting go of his butt to nibble on his ear.

"Commander, I am not in the business of feeling anything, including pleasure or goodness. I am attempting to reshape the universe for the better. Besides, you are still 17, I would get arrested and thrown in jail due to your being a minor," he retorted as Mars sighed.

"Who's gonna teeeeeell?! Please?! OOF!"

Cyrus practically dropped Mars onto the floor as he entered the nap room with all the members in tow.

"Today we are gathered here to witness the inauguration of a new, necessary sign into this building. In fact, this sign is probably the most important sign we have ever seen. I shall read it to you, for those who have issues seeing or understanding the written English language, which is almost all of you.

"The sign states: 'Team Galactic Nap Room. Ensure the bed is unoccupied before getting into it!' We are already a useless team everyone laughs at; do not make our status any more pathetic than it already is. That is all," Cyrus finished, hanging the sign on the well where the third, middle bed used to be.

"Oh yeah, we also only have two beds now, cause, seriously, who was ever gonna use that middle one again!?" Mars added, shooing all the members out, who seemed to understand what had been said.

"Saturn, Jupiter, limit your sexual intercourse to private areas, such as either of your rooms or offices only. Other than that, feel free to continue, since I cannot see the problem with it, just do not get pregnant unless you get married. We would be even more shamed if you did that. So do not. This concludes my speech for the day," Cyrus informed his commanders, who high-fived each other.

"That's sexcellent, Cyrus, let's go Saturn!" Jupiter winked at her sex buddy, who spanked her.

"Ooooh, that's cause Cyrus IS sexcellent!" Mars cooed, grinding against her boss.

"All three of you, GET AWAY FROM ME," Cyrus roared, loudly but still emotionlessly.

The three ran towards his office.

"Hey Jupi, let's do it on his desk!"

"Okay honey, that sounds kinky!"

"NOOOOO, stay outta there, I'M gonna do Cyrus on his desk, you can't do each other there!"

_Why did I hire a minor who is in love with me, a perverted man in his twenties who takes covert pictures of a hot girl naked, and a stupid hot girl who lets him?_

Cyrus just shook his head.


	2. Why They Have a TV Room

Shabam! Thanks for reviewing :D Some of you mentioned you've read it before, I did upload the first few 'shots on serebiiforums, if that's perchance where you've seen it. Haha these first few were written almost a year ago, I believe, so be warned the backstories of everyone are subject to changing every few 'shots or so. :p Look forward to more exciting adventures of everyone's favorite team! PS InfraRed is soon to be present... I think lol.

* * *

Now, why, exactly, is there a TV room? Don't they all have TVs in their rooms? Find out more mysteries of Team Galactic now…

"Cy-ruuuus… my TV broke," Jupiter whined as she and Saturn burst into Cyrus' office of loneliness. It would be lonely if Mars wasn't already there pestering Cyrus about going to the mushiest movie of the year with her.

"And I should care why?" Cyrus indifferently replied, attempting to shove Mars off his lap. She had somehow snuck onto it when he wasn't looking, and now she refused to remove her rear.

"Be-cause! There's a huuuuge Scooby Doo marathon coming up this week, and Saturn's TV has been broken for years. We need to watch it; it has EVERY episode ever made of every incarnation! And all the movies! But we can't. And we wanna watch it. So you have to handle it and resolve the problem," Jupiter explained confidently.

"And how, exactly, do you propose I fix your sad little issue? Besides, it is merely you and Saturn dissatisfied by this lack of viewing a talking dog and four teenagers drive around in a multi-colored van stoking drugs, how does this affect the rest of the team adversely? Do you not have all the episodes on DVD in any case?" Cyrus countered, finally succeeding in pushing Mars to the floor.

"Well, I'm glad you asked! See, the scientists want to analyze Scooby's speech patterns to find out how to make Pokemon talk. And NO WAI, not all the episodes HAVE been released on DVD, so we were intending to record them. Besides, without a TV, how would we watch them on DVD? Our suggestion for solving this extreme inconvenience is to turn that spare room next to the kitchen into a TV room for all members! It's big enough for a nice, huge plasma screen and a sweet sound system. Please Cyrus, we seriously need to watch this marathon," Saturn put in, watching Mars stand up behind Cyrus and try to massage his shoulders.

He flexed his shoulders and knocked her over.

"Very well. I shall purchase the equipment and have it installed today, so you may watch an animated animal solve rather compelling mysteries on a high-definition screen," Cyrus agreed, standing up to depart for Veilstone Department Store.

Mars sprung back up and blocked his way. "Hey, that's no fair! Whenever _I_ ask for something you always tell me no, why are you getting them what they want?!" she angrily squealed as Cyrus practically glared at her.

"Because they do not constantly pester me with foolish notions of romantic excursions or other idiotic ideas, that is why," he retorted, pushing her out of his way.

"Oooooh, that's because they're not good enough to be around you as much as I am! Humph!" she plopped down on his desk to wait for his return.

Unfortunately she sat on a tack and screamed, leaping up and somehow launching herself into Cyrus' arms from midair.

"OOOWWWWW! Cyrus, help, get it out, it huuuuuurts!" Mars whined, grabbing his arm and trying to move it to her rear.

He dropped her onto her stomach, sat on her back and examined the situation.

"You have indeed lodged a tack into your posterior. I shall remove it," he analyzed, reaching to pull the offending object from her.

"Eeeeek!" she yelped when he yanked it out. Standing up, he reported she had suffered no permanent injuries and there was no blood.

Saturn and Jupiter, meanwhile, were laughing and filming this rather painful event.

Cyrus walked away to purchase the technology required for a TV room.

"Oooooh, I bet you guys put that tack there on purpose! I'm gonna delete that video! Get back here with that camera! GET BACK HERE NOW!" Mars yelled, running after the older, faster commanders.

"Fat chance, stupid!" Saturn taunted, waving the camera at her.

"You don't need us to be dumb, you do it on your own!" Jupiter laughed as Mars tripped on a small ripple in the carpet and slid on her face for several yards, butt held high in the air.

The other two cackled even harder, recording this as well before darting off to the safety of Saturn's room.

"Oooooh, I'll have Cyrus stick tacks in THEIR rears when he gets back!" poor Mars huffed, standing up and dusting herself off. She stormed back to Cyrus' office to await his return.

--Dooby-Dooby-Doo, Doobidy-Dooby-Dooby-Doo--

"Members of Team Galactic, I have gathered you all here for an important announcement. Many of you have been informed of the upcoming Scooby Doo marathon. In lieu of that fact, I have converted this spare room into the Team Galactic TV Room, for member use only. Knock yourselves out," Cyrus announced to all the members.

Saturn and Jupiter cheered, along with everyone else.

Mars jumped onto Cyrus once he got off the intercom system.

"Well baby, should we let them have their entertainment and have a little of our own?" she cooed, lap dancing him.

"What are you talking about?" Cyrus looked at her like she had three heads and a tail, but not really since that would be an emotional reaction.

"Let's have SEX!" she cheered.

"You are a minor and a subordinate, that would be extremely inappropriate."

"C'mon, I won't tell anyone…"

"Get away from me."

"Please…"

"NOW."

"Oooooh, I'll show you!"

She proceeded to magically remove all their clothes at once and sit on him.

Cyrus, for the first time in a couple decades, experienced an emotion.

"What are you doing?" he curiously asked, rather confused.

Mars just shook her head.


	3. How Saturn and Jupiter Got Hired

Again thanks for the reviews all! Cause IDK how to reply to them... Yes his first emotion is confusion (I've changed that ending every time I look at it -.-), Mars' Cyruslove is explained next 'shot, Sinnoh lets kids walk around alone at the age of ten, but the age of consent is 18, Team Galactic is against anything non-cosmic!, and InfraRed is a few off, if I go in the order they're present in Word. This next one explains the backstory of Saturn and Jupiter for almost all the 'shots you'll see by me. Hope you enjoy! o

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Ever wonder why the commanders can speak English, but the grunts can't? This explains it all!

"As you all know, I am looking to hire two commanders and the rest of you will be grunts. It is preferable the grunts be very multi-skilled and able to understand many different languages, so now Commander Mars and I shall be testing your lingual capabilities. Please take these foreign songs and attempt to translate them," Cyrus announced to the roomful of trainees.

Sitting next to each other in the far back was a blue-haired male and a pink-haired female, the former asleep and the latter doodling on her notebook.

They received the easiest language, Spanish. Naturally they could've just looked up the English lyrics considering the song was 'Mickey' but they were too stupid to.

So they took their song and skipped off to Jupiter's room to listen to it.

"Um, all I can hear is dirty words… is that right?" Saturn commented, straining to understand what the crap Toni was saying.

"I dunno, this is gay, let's just put some crap down, I doubt those two idiots know anything except English anyways," Jupiter rolled her eyes and huffed, texting Saturn, even though he was right next to her.

"Okay. We totally looked smarter than all those others, we'll win for sure," he agreed, texting her back.

"So, I got out of it she wants the Mickey guy to do her, but he won't, so she uses her hand. What did you think she was saying?"

"She likes sex and getting off. That's about it."

"That works. Write it and let's go shopping."

Saturn wrote down a bunch of crap and they ran down to turn it in to Mars. The red-headed commander, who was younger than them, smiled at how promptly they completed the final test.

"Cyrus and I will check this over in a moment, you guys are the first ones done," Mars told them, walking over to the desk she shared with her boss.

The sweet, innocent, underage girl sat down next to the much-older man and attempted to snuggle up next to him.

The light-blue-haired man looked at her, wondering if she was cold. "Commander is there a problem with the temperature?" he asked, scooting his chair away from her.

She fell off hers and yelled in pain. "Ooooooh, you just don't get it, do you?!" she whined, trying to climb back up.

Cyrus picked her up and sat her back in her chair with one hand.

Jupiter and Saturn, meanwhile, were long gone, off at the Veilstone Department Store browsing around.

"We must examine their answers now. Cease your unruly behavior and focus," Cyrus ordered as Mars frowned and nodded her head in submission.

"Let's see what we've got… OH MY!" Mars shouted, reading over the first few lines Jupiter and Saturn had written down.

The lyrics they pulled out of their rears are not appropriate for a story of any rating less than NC-17 thus they have been censored

"Commander, what does this mean?" he asked, rather confused.

"It's all about sex! Self-sex and how she doesn't want to do herself but Mickey's gay and won't do her! It also means they know absolutely NO Spanish what so ever and are completely useless in everything but English! OMG, this is sooooo nasty, burn it!" she screamed, throwing the paper away from her.

"Very well," he acquiesced, pulling out two sticks and rubbing them together to set the paper on fire.

"They failed sooooooo badly. They may look good, but they absolutely SUCK at foreign languages. They seemed rather good at English, which is what we want for commanders! People who look hot and can use big, bravado sentences to sound impressive. I think we found who to hire, though I doubt that Jupiter chick is very intelligent and she'll probably be completely useless. Oh well, you'll hire her anyways," Mars sighed, resting her head on her hand as she pouted.

The rest of the trainees all rushed in with horrible English but completely accurate translations.

"You all can speak foreign languages?" Mars asked, looking at their lyrics.

"Como?" one asked, not understanding English.

"You all are hired as grunts. Saturn and Jupiter are the commanders, because THEY SUCK. Uds. Comprendan? Good," Cyrus announced, dismissing everyone as they cheered, because everyone knew the commander position meant you were too stupid and worthless for anything else.

Eventually Saturn and Jupiter returned, loaded with shopping bags, and were stopped by Cyrus and Mars.

"Congratulations guys, you two were the suckiest on the final test and are the new commanders with ME! Yay! I hope your English is a heck of a lot better than your Spanish is, or you two will be used as meat instead," Mars announced as Cyrus played Sudoku on a handheld device.

"Oh yeah, we're great at English, we just think foreign languages are gay. See, I told you we're better than those dumb grunts, didn't I?" Jupiter turned to Saturn and poked him.

"Be at the meeting room tomorrow for your first assignment and to learn all the full requirements of the job," Cyrus instructed as he and Mars walked off together.

"Yesh! We get to make lotsa money and be high-ranked villains, alright!" Saturn exclaimed, high-fiving Jupiter. The two cheered and ran off to her room to put their stuff down before charging through the hallways laughing at the newly-hired grunts.

"I wonder if they know being a commander means they're so worthless and stupid they're not capable of doing simple tasks," one of the grunts whispered to a couple others, and soon they all were laughing at their idiotic new commanders.


	4. How Mars Joined Up

Ok thanks to a kindred reviewer I'll actually reply now. Last time I clicked a button I didn't know what it was I No Contested a Brawl. In any case... thanks for reading and hopefully this one is a bit more interesting. GOOD NEWS: INFRARED IS NEXT D! So read, enjoy, and review!

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How did Mars join Team Galactic if she's so young? Well, let's just say if you could agree to join Team Rocket on Nugget Bridge, I soooooo would.

Once upon a bright and sunny day there was a new trainer standing outside the ominous Mt. Coronet, ready and waiting to go inside to further her adventures in the Sinnoh region.

After being shipped away from her home in Kanto to this strange, cold region, the young red-head had found Professor Rowan and received her starting Pokemon from him, a Shinx. He was out of all the normal starters and as she had no place to stay until he got more, he let her go with the little electric-type.

This lonely girl and her optimistic, energetic Pokemon set off for Oreburgh City to win her first badge, catching a rather grumpy Glameow along the way.

Narrowly defeating the very young and inexperienced leader Roark, they headed off to Jubilife City, catching a spare Bidoof along the way to trade for a good Starly on the GTS, a new, revolutionary means of Pokemon trading, still in its very early stages and regarded as a prototype.

Scanning the system for a Starly of quality, she amazingly stumbled across a female, shiny Starly that wanted a Bidoof and immediately made the trade.

There had never been such cries of joy and excitement heard in that building, and there haven't been any since. The abandoned, unloved daughter of Team Rocket's boss had finally been set free of her abusive household, received her first Pokemon, caught two, and made a trade with someone else for a SHINY, not to mention she got a gym badge.

The youngling happily skipped off to Floaroma Town and up to Eterna City through the forest, gladly fighting all the trainers who challenged the red-eyed girl.

She defeated Gardenia with relative ease with the help of her powerful Starly, who evolved into Staravia. Shinx had already evolved into Luxio in the first gym battle.

Up in the corner of the city, however, was a dark building under secret construction, looming over the town with a malevolent aura.

Visiting the Bike Store, the owner delighted in seeing her cute little Pokemon and gifted the trainer, walking around in worn tennis shoes that barely fit anymore, a nice red bike to ride around on.

Hopping on it and speeding down the cycling road, the beginner found the large mountain previously mentioned and stared at its opening, preparing to go in.

She called her Luxio out to light the way, slowly pedaling along.

Until she met a tall, young, depressed man with light-blue hair and eyes staring off into the distance.

She was immediately taken by this handsome figure, despite the agony that tormented his face. He was obviously at least ten years older than her and she felt it was wrong to be attracted to him, but she couldn't help it.

"Hello young lady, that is a nice Luxio you have there. I assume you are traveling from town to town, collecting gym badges?" he asked in a cool, confident voice that was devoid of emotion.

"Yes sir, I am. My name's Gabriella, but everyone calls me Mars. If you don't mind my asking, what are you doing?" she sweetly replied, smiling innocently at him.

"I am going to Eterna City to check the progress of one of my buildings there. I am the head of an organization dedicated to reshaping the world into a better place for everyone to live. Unfortunately, most people find me to be crazy, and my methods faulted, my dream useless. You have a nice name, child, it seems familiar from somewhere. You may address me as Cyrus," the older, emotionless human explained, turning from the wall to the sweet young thing in worn red and grey sneakers, a red plaid schoolgirl skirt and a grey polo.

"Oh wow, that sounds like such a great goal! I wish my mom was like that, instead of as selfish as she is. Everyone calls HER Madame Boss, she's the head of Team Rocket back in Kanto, where I'm from. My step-dad doesn't like me and sent me here, far away from them and his son, my older half-brother. It's lonely, though, with just my three Pokemon as company," Mars sighed, looking very sad.

"I knew you looked familiar. You may have heard of my company, Team Galactic. I have never before met a person of your age who can see the greatness we could provide to the world, the universe, even. Truly, you are unique, and your family is foolish to treat you so carelessly," Cyrus reached out to stroke her face before jerking his hand back as it trailed along her chin.

She turned rather pink as he clasped his hands behind his back.

"Yeah, I remember Mommy mentioning you guys sometimes… I'd, um, kinda like to join you, you know, like, get hired… you sound so noble," she admitted, slightly blinded by her infatuation for her own mother's rival in regional teams.

"That would be… acceptable. Come, I shall examine Eterna City operations later; let us return to my main headquarters in Veilstone City now. There is a gym there as well…" he drifted off, leading the young, love struck girl out of the cave and off to her new home.

-…--…--…-

"So Cyrus, you finally found yourself a nice little loli, eh?" one of the two commanders laughed as Cyrus brought Mars out, dressed in her uniform and smiling, to present to the team.

"She is NOT a love slave, let me assure you. This, team, is your new commander, Mars. I expect you to treat her with the utmost respect even though she is young. If I find anyone is mistreating her, you shall be SEVERELY punished," Cyrus announced to his growing organization as they all clapped for her inauguration.

"You're right; she's not a love _slave_. She's your willing 10 year old toy. Cyrus, you're 20, what is wrong with you?" the other commander yelled at him.

The two current commanders were a male and female, both black-haired and blue-eyed, and not the nicest people you'd ever want to meet. If they were originally given names, nobody remembered them, as they always demanded to be called 'Commander, sir/ma'am' instead.

"Both of you, get out of here. There is nothing wrong with me, but you two obviously have major malfunctions. I apologize for their rude behavior, Mars, do not take it personally."

That was the start of Mars' puppy-love crush growing even deeper until she completely adored her boss. He had taken her under his wing, sheltering her from the constant insults of her fellow commanders until they were captured by the police and replaced by Saturn and Jupiter.

She was always so grateful to Cyrus for taking her out of a life of loneliness and misery and being her friend. Her devotion to him was greater than that of any of the other members, and everyone knew she was his favorite employee, even if he denied having preferential feelings.


	5. Why Mars Fights You The Most

SHOOP InfraRed time!! All I gotta say bout it! o) Next is some long Cyrus/Mars fluffthing... Unless people want InfraRed 2 up! Also, feel free to request something... I'm half-scared to say any Galactic-pairing but go ahead lol if anyone has any ideas. My own are running short :p Thanks for reading!

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So… why, exactly, do you fight MARS three times, and not anyone else? What makes you so special she keeps coming back for more? Let's see, hm?

One bright and sunny day, Mars ran into the headquarters in Veilstone City yelling happily for no reason at all. She had just been defeated by a ten-year-old girl at the Valley Windworks!

Saturn and Jupiter came out of their hole of love to see what the crap she was so excited about.

Mars jumped onto the couch in the commanders' lounge and hugged a pillow, sighing happily.

The other two slowly meandered in, sitting down at the computer and acting disinterested.

"So, what's got you so worked up?" Saturn casually asked, still not paying her much attention.

"I'm in LOVE!" she squealed, leaping about.

"What's new?" Saturn retorted, snorting.

"It's not Cyrus," she winked.

That got their attention, and, in shock, they wheeled around to stare at her, mouths wide open.

"Who the heck is it that took your love away from him?!" Jupiter spat out, horrified.

"Well, for starters, it's a girl…" Mars began but was cut off.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!" her fellow commanders screamed in utter mortification.

"I think I'm gonna be sick…" Saturn muttered, turning a rather unattractive shade of green.

"That makes her bi, oooooh gosh…" Jupiter was eerily pale.

"What's wrong with that?! I've had a change of heart is all," Mars indignantly retorted, folding her arms.

"Tell us more about… her," the venom in Saturn's voice was evident; he was obviously not pleased with his best friend moving on from her boss.

"Well, she's got blue hair, blue eyes…" Mars paused as the other two nodded their heads, "and she's ten."

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTT?!" they screamed, spitting out the water they had just sipped.

"TEN?! MARS WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU? TEN YEARS?! THAT IS SICK AND WRONG!" Saturn screeched at her, completely appalled at her new love interest.

"Yes, she is ten years old! There's nothing wrong with that, love has no bounds. Besides, we're only seven years apart, Cyrus and I are ten. I don't get why you two are so disturbed, you should be happy for me!" she scolded, clucking her tongue.

"But Cyrus is a guy! Even if he is your older boss it's still not as sick as a ten year old girl, you monster! How could you fall for someone who beat you and ruined your mission!? You're seriously messed, I'm going to call the only doctor there is on any villainous team and get you some help," Jupiter retorted angrily, reaching for the phone when Cyrus walked in.

"I detected shouts of immense horror and decided to investigate. What is the situation?" Cyrus announced, scanning the room for signs of an attack or other harmful events.

"Oh right, I totally should tell you. Cyrus, I've moved on. I'm now in love with a ten year old girl named Dawn," Mars proudly stated.

Cyrus' reaction was probably the most completely and utterly terrified of all.

"HOW COULD YOUUUUUUUU?! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED MEEEEEE! WHHHHHHYYYYYYYY?!" he wailed, completely breaking down and sobbing.

"Sorry Cyrus, I just got tired of waiting for you to come around and decide you wanted me back, and once I met her, wow, I was completely blown away, it was so much fun being beaten by her!" Mars' eyes became hearts as she squeed about her new love.

Cyrus ran away crying, saddened he had lost the only girl who was alive and loved him to a loli.

"You are sick," Jupiter plainly said, and it was fact.

"If we ever see that kid we'll beat her to a pulp for this," Saturn added and the two walked away, discussing how best to torture Mars' little girlfriend.

"Ooooooh, they just don't get it! Dawn's such a special little princess, I can't wait to meet her again and battle her over and over!" Mars sighed, getting on the computer and doodling her and Dawn's names in hearts on Paint.


	6. Truth or Dare lol

Shoot I hate this chapter but I had a request for it to be posted so... ;x Read, review, request, etc. Next up is some actual InfraRed interaction fluff. o)

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FLUUUUUFF! It's time for fluff, yay! Unfortunately, it's with a ship I despise! Bring in the ROFL-COPTERS for stupid Cyrus and Mars and their gay picnic…

"So Cyrus, truth or dare?" Saturn asked, watching the bottle stop and land on the boss. The three commanders and Cyrus were playing Truth or Dare and spinning a vodka bottle to see who would get asked next.

The vodka bottle was empty, mind you.

"Dare," Cyrus confidently stated, knowing that even semi-drunk Saturn would never dare him to do anything overly bad, embarrassing or emotional.

"M'kay… I dare ya to take Mars out on a picnic to a lonely place where's just the two of you tomorrow, or the first nice and sunny day that comes up, whichever comes first," Saturn slurred out, maintaining an air of regal cockiness as Cyrus seemed to pale.

"You is mah favrit person, Satie," Mars drunkenly high-fived him.

There had been another vodka bottle. It was mostly ingested by Mars. The second one was split more evenly between the three remaining people.

"What?" Cyrus almost moaned, holding his head between his hands.

"Ya heard me. Ya gotta take her on a romantic picnickin' excursion tomorra. Remember what the penalty is fer backin' outta a dare," Saturn ominously stuttered as Cyrus sighed.

If you backed out of a dare in Team Galactic, you had to run around Veilstone City naked doing bad things with your hand little kids wouldn't know about and would have to ask their parents.

Naturally Cyrus wanted to do this even less than take a subordinate minor out on what was essentially a date.

"Very well," he relented, reaching out to spin the bottle.

It landed on Jupiter, who had ingested the least amount of vodka of anyone since she knew she'd have to play it safe around her rather competitive, mischievous friends.

"Truth or dare?" Cyrus emotionlessly asked, putting the notion of dating Mars in a secluded location in the back of his mind.

"Oh, dare, I guess," she decided, wondering what the worst Cyrus could do was.

"I dare you to kick Saturn where the sun refrains from shining hard," Cyrus almost seemed to smirk at Saturn, who paled and attempted to scoot out of the circle. Sadly he was the second-drunkest and fell over.

"Okay!" Jupiter, happy she didn't have to do anything embarrassing, cheerfully replied, standing up.

She slammed her foot into Saturn, who screamed in agony and grabbed himself.

"Sorry Saturn," she giggled, sitting back down.

"Dun worry Saturn, she'll kiss it later," Mars snickered as Jupiter turned red.

"Do not bother denying it," Cyrus put in as Mars laughed even harder. Jupiter's face was beet red. Saturn seemed to be in a good deal of pain and not concentrating on the conversation.

Jupiter spun the bottle and it landed on Mars, who immediately said 'truth.'

"You're so boring! Well, would YOU kiss him to make it feel better?" she narrowed her eyes at the younger female.

"Heck naw. He's your responsibility, not mine. Cyrus, yes, but Saturn, no," the red-head casually replied as Cyrus' face looked to have taken on a slightly pink tone.

Mars spun the bottle and it landed back on Jupiter. "Truth or dare?" she sweetly asked.

Figuring Mars wasn't angry about her question, Jupiter chose dare.

"You, sir, are an idiot. I dare you to kiss it," Mars cackled as Cyrus nodded his head in approval of her vile plot and Jupiter's eyes widened, her mouth hanging open.

"Well, I suppose you could put the whole thing in if you really want to, considering how wide your mouth is right now…" Mars pondered as Jupiter shut her mouth and glared, walking over to Saturn.

"No clothes in between, deary," the younger girl added.

Muttering insults under her breath, Jupiter leaned over Saturn and pulled his pants down.

He looked rather happy about it.

She yanked his underwear off as well, glaring at Mars all the while.

The alcohol Jupiter did drink decided to take its full effect at that moment.

So she shoved the whole 11 inches into her mouth and sucked.

Saturn's eyes widened as he moaned in pleasure.

Cyrus stared on, not thinking that was exactly 'kissing' it.

Mars looked at Jupiter like she had three heads.

"After this is complete, the game-" Cyrus began before being cut off from a very loud scream of satisfaction from Saturn, who relaxed and lay on the floor as Jupiter stood back up and licked her lips. "Is finished," he finished, eying the commanders warily.

"I feel bad not doing the same to you… how about you come over and I repay the favor?" Saturn leaned over to Jupiter and whispered in her ear, licking it at the same time.

She nodded her head in agreement, snuggling next to him as they walked out together.

"Did you see how much he enjoyed it? I could do the same thing to you, Cyrus…" Mars rather bluntly hinted, crawling closer to him on all fours.

Although the prospect would have easily been irresistible to almost any other man, emotionless Cyrus had no desire to feel pleasure or to do anything sexual with a minor.

"No thank you, Mars. I shall see you tomorrow for our picnic, please meet me at my car at 10 AM," he replied, standing up and walking out.

She looked dreamily at him, watching as his tall, strong figure disappeared out the door and into the darkening hallway. Sighing, she also rose and departed, returning to her room to try and figure out what best to wear to seduce him the next day.

--

"Hi Cyrus! I'm so excited about this, where are we going?" Mars cheerfully asked as she skipped up to her boss' car and waved to him.

She was wearing a very low-cut sea-foam green dress with white lace accents. It was short, tight and had a revealing, square neckline. She didn't see how he could resist it.

"Someplace. It is… a 'surprise,'" he sounded the word out like a little child, obviously unfamiliar to it.

"Oh good, I love surprises!" she clapped her hands together and hopped into his car. Cyrus seemed visibly disgruntled. Then she remembered he was supposed to open and close her door. Her face took on a pink tinge, but it soon passed as he drove out of the garage.

"So, what did you pack for lunch?" she asked, staring out the window at the sunny sky.

"You shall see when we arrive," his voice was almost annoyed at her constant questioning.

"Oh, okay," was her sad reply. It was rather obvious to both of them he didn't like small talk and she was getting depressed she kept irritating him.

They sat in silence for a while, Mars occasionally opening her mouth, as if to say something, but promptly closing it when she saw Cyrus half-roll his eyes or frown.

Of course, to the common observer, his facial expression would not have changed in the slightest. Mars, however, knew him well and had learned to pick up the subtle emotions that graced his face every so often. After seven years she was the best choice to read him of anyone he knew.

"We are here," Cyrus eventually announced, sounding almost pleased to get out of the car he was trapped in with Mars.

Her head turned slightly away from his as she tried to hide her disappointment he wanted to get away from her. After seven years, though, he was quite adept at reading her like a book and he noted her face scrunch up in an attempt to stop from frowning.

"You are distressed, what is bothering you?" he bluntly asked, curious as to why she was sad on a date with him.

"Oh, it's nothing, just thinking, that's all," she lied. It wasn't a total lie, she reasoned to herself, she was thinking… about how much she annoyed him all the time.

"Commander, I am inexperienced at small talk. Do not take my dislike for it as a dislike for you or your company, I merely need to practice the art of conversing properly with you," Cyrus had a reasonable guess of what was wrong with her and he was pretty accurate.

"Oh? Really? Okay, well, I'll help you practice then!" Mars cheered up almost instantly, hopping out of the car as he opened her door.

"That would be acceptable. Is this location suitable for you?" Cyrus swept his arm out to indicate a wide, open plain with small hills that was completely devoid of human life and looked like almost nobody went there.

There was, however, a small, slightly-worn trail through the tall, wavy grass to an old maple tree which provided a nice, sheltered place to sit between its large roots.

"This is perfect! How'd you find out about this place?" she wondered, gazing around at the untouched haven.

"I purchased this parcel of land before even you were a member of Team Galactic. It is where I come to think, plot, contemplate and be alone. As of late, however, I have been spending less and less time here as you spend more and more time in my office. So you do not feel like you are forcing anything on me, the lack of time spent alone is not missed," Cyrus explained, leading her out on the trail to the tree.

"This is the only tree in the meadow, a lone, sole maple tree that has withstood the test of time and remains as a backrest. You are the only person I have ever shown it to," his voice grew quieter at the end as he rested a hand against the worn wood trunk, looking almost run-down himself.

"That's so nice of your to show me your secret hiding place, it's so nice here! Considering how urbanized Veilstone City is, I'm almost surprised to see a place as remote as this one is anywhere around here," she commented, plopping down on the ground as he awkwardly spread the cloth in the picnic basket on the ground.

He also sat down and began taking food items out of the rather large basket.

"Ooooooh, macaroni salad, my favorite! How did you know?" Mars squealed as she saw the contents of a translucent bowl.

"I did not, I also highly favor macaroni salad and I brought it for myself, at the least," he replied, looking at her almost quizzically, like he didn't believe she really did like it.

"What a neat coincidence! I suppose these sandwiches are blackberry preserves and chunky peanut butter too, huh?" she winked, thinking of her favorite type of sandwich.

"They are indeed. Am to I assume we also share a preference in sandwich condiments?"

"OMG, yes! And you brought red raspberries, and peach white grape juice, and, OMGGGGG, is that blackberry AND peach cobbler?! Those are all of my favorite things to eat, how in the world did you know, I never told you!" she practically screamed as she watched him take the food out and set it down.

"I did not know you enjoyed any of these things, they are what I like to eat for lunch, thus I brought them. It is… odd we share so many things in common we never knew about before," he looked almost embarrassed at knowing so little about what she liked.

"Yeah, but it's really cool! I guess we just never really talked about what we like and dislike before," she pondered the notion for a while, thinking if they had ever talked about much of anything personal before.

"I… regret… never having taken the time to socialize with you in the past. I should have," slowly but surely the admission came. Cyrus expected her to laugh or make a joke about his having a regret or emotion, but to his surprise her face turned very sweet and accepting.

"Well, there's no time like the present," she smiled softly, leaning over to kiss him gently on the cheek before settling herself down to eat.

Even Saturn and Jupiter, who were constantly watching for Cyrus to blush when Mars hit on him, would have missed the soft pink tint that spread across Cyrus' cheeks, much as he tried to hide it. Mars, however, even more experienced than her fellow commanders, was able to spot it, and she giggled quietly to herself.

"I… made the food myself, it may not be up to par with the usual cooking staff's meals, I have not cooked in a long time," he admitted, watching her lift a spoonful of macaroni salad to her lips. Those soft, smooth, flawless lips that had just graced his face with their presence slowly parted to allow the spoon in.

Cyrus suddenly felt a strong desire to replace the spoon, being pulled out empty of salad, with his tongue. Looking away from her in shock his mind would come up with something like that, he decided to avoid studying her too closely the rest of the date.

"It's better than the normal cook's food. This is really good! You should cook more often, I'll help you, I've always wanted to learn," she pretended not to notice his strange reaction to her eating and stuffed more salad in her mouth.

"Well, aren't you going to eat anything?" Mars asked, unable to resist pointing out he had not touched his food.

"Oh, right, eat…" he jolted back to attention and picked up his sandwich. She quirked her head at him, trying to figure out what was wrong.

They ate in relative silence, occasionally striking up a brief conversation about their favorite color, season or region, or something equally as trivial.

The sexual tension that hung thick in the air was almost oppressing, it refused to let up as Cyrus' resolve against eying his underage commander weakened and Mars kept bending over farther and farther to show him more.

She shifted her position and sat with her legs sprawled open, watching as he struggled in vain to not look up her dress.

His self-control managed to reassert its dominance and he returned to a more settled state, beginning another conversation, this time about flowers.

"It is my understanding females enjoy flowers, what species do you prefer?" Cyrus' questions were still childish and awkward, though Mars gave him credit for trying. It was more than so many other men would have done, she bitterly reflected.

"I've always liked bright red roses, and the unique orchid species that have the long, trailing petals. Oh, and pansy-face orchids, they're so cute! I'd simply love to have a little sunroom or greenhouse with a big collection of exotic, rare, fancy plants someday. Gladiolus are also really pretty, and the little planter box on my windowsill has crocus and a pair of vibrant, frilly red tulips. What kind of flowers do you like?" she happily replied, glad to be on a topic she enjoyed.

"I personally have come to greatly admire the dandelion. It has withstood being called a weed, a pest, constantly dug up and thrown out, and has high endurance. I am also growing a very pale pink hibiscus plant right next to my window in the sun. I find raising a plant and having it bloom to be very rewarding, personally. In addition, there sits a small, weak miniature rose plant entitled Aura of Blue, although it is truly rather purple, but fairly blue as roses come, on my rather wide window above my bed. No matter where it is set, it remains dwarfed, but I have confidence it shall increase in size and strength in the near future," Cyrus seemed to get a dreamy look on his face as he stared off into the distance. He looked a million miles away, recollecting on what must have been his life story.

"Oh, that's so sweet, I never picture you as a plant person. See, isn't it great what we learn about each other? I hope your little girl does well… Cyrus? Cyyyruuus? CYRUS!" Mars snapped, waving her hand in front of his head.

"What? Yes, she shall prosper, yes indeed. What were we talking about?" even his voice seemed distant. Mars' face took on an uncontrollable expression of sadness that he wasn't focusing on her in the slightest, which Cyrus noted.

"Mars, you have not eaten any raspberries as of yet. Allow me to assist you with that," so he had been keeping careful track of all she'd eaten. It cheered her up slightly to know that he was indeed paying her some attention.

"M'kay, I've just been slow, I guess," she sheepishly admitted, watching as he hesitantly reached for a berry and lifted it to her mouth.

She flicked her tongue out to snag the fruit, licking the tips of his fingers in the process.

He shifted uncomfortably, running a hand through his hair before realizing that was a sign of stress.

Smiling at him, she looked expectantly from him to the fruit, indicating she wanted another.

Once again he picked up a berry and moved it to her soft lips. This time, however, she opened her mouth and closed it gently on his fingers before sucking the raspberry out of his grasp.

The obvious discomfort he felt at her playful advances only thickened the tension between them as both leaned in closer.

He groped around for another berry, finally staring up her dress between her legs. Mars noticed and spread them even wider, pulling the dress farther up her thin legs in the process.

This time he plopped the berry in her mouth, allowing her to suck on his index finger momentarily before replacing the digit with his tongue.

She immediately grabbed him and dragged him over the cloth and onto her, pulling them both to the ground and trapping her beneath him.

They passionately kissed for what seemed like forever before Cyrus pulled away.

"Mars, this is wrong, you are a subordinate, I am your boss, you are a minor, we are ten years apart…" he made up excuse after excuse, trying the escape her firm grasp.

"I don't care. I've wanted this ever since I first met you in Mt. Coronet, heck if I'm going to let an age difference or rank stop me now," she firmly, aggressively growled, dragging his mouth back to hers.

He tried to fight her iron grip, but she merely kissed harder.

"At least settle down, I do not want this to be so hard, fast and emotionless," he practically pleaded, shifting his head to be able to talk.

"You want a nice, tender romp in a wide open field? I thought you didn't have emotions, Cyrus," she smirked, narrowing her eyes in triumph.

"Maybe… I… do…" he grunted reluctantly, tenderly caressing her face.

"I always knew you wanted me too, you were just too scared to admit it, too unwilling to say to anyone you do have feelings… I saw beneath your cold mask, every time you'd look at me, there'd be a little spark in your eye, a glimmer of affection; you could hardly resist my advances. But you did, because you were afraid someone would see you as weak if they knew you felt, if they knew you loved somebody. It was an ominous thought, someone might hurt me to get to you, so you disguised your emotions as indifference to protect me. I remember you telling me everyone else you've ever loved has died, and that's why you shut yourself off of all emotions in the first place. Its okay to feel again, Cyrus, I promise I'll never leave you, or hurt you. Don't fear giving in to your desires, we'll be fine as long as we have each other. Come on sweetheart, let me love you," she simpered, convincing him to relent his emotional removal and trust her.

"Oh Mars, you have always been able to read me like a book. How you can understand me so well I shall never figure out, but that is merely one of the reasons I adore you. Not to mention your persuasion skills… you are perfect for me," he confessed, still rather embarrassed over being so emotional.

"Oh Cyrus, I've always loved you, and I always will! Nothing could ever tear me away from you," she moaned, suddenly getting up and running out with him into the very middle of the field and rolling on the hill.

"The same goes for me," were the last legible words either spoke.

They took to slowly, lovingly, gracefully making love out in the open, tenderly telling each other of their undying devotion and trying to outdo the other's depth of love.

After an unknown, unrecorded, un-cared-for amount of time had passed, they finally stopped and gently slid into a light, easy sleep.

Before they nodded off, Mars whispered one last thing into his ear.

"I'll never leave you, no matter what happens with the team."

And for the first time since they'd known each other, Cyrus smiled at her.

* * *

Shoot I hate the end, it seems so OOC. o/


	7. Mars and Dawn Have Fun

OMG INFRARED TIME!! Enjoy, thanks for reading, review! Next up we have Mars and Cyrus reading Jupiter's diary. ;3

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Even fluffier fluff of Mars and Dawn and carousels. Yayz.

Walking around with a corndog in one hand and her purse in the other, Mars was incredibly bored at the fair held near Solaceon Town. Saturn and Jupiter had ditched her when she went to the bathroom, leaving her to wander aimlessly through the large grounds alone.

The red-head's mind drifted off as she strolled, focusing in on a certain blue-haired ten-year-old who had been MIA for a while.

"Mars?" a timid, quiet voice incredulously asked from behind the older girl, who felt a slight poke in her back.

"Dawn?! OMG, what are you doing here?" Mars immediately recognized the high voice of her blue-eyed love interest.

"I'm here for the fair, silly! What are you here for is a better question, though. I hope you're not planning to spoil the fun," Dawn sweetly pouted, making Mars melt.

"Oooooh, of course not, Saturn, Jupiter and I just came by to see what the fair was about, but they ran off together and left me alone," she frowned, thinking of her less-than-loyal fellow commanders.

"That's mean of them! I'm here alone too, we could walk around together… if you don't mind too much, that is."

"That'd be great, dear, I'd love to."

"M'kay, well, what do you like to do at carnivals?"

"Go on all the rides I can! Jupiter gets sick on roller coasters so we haven't gone on any of those yet, but I'd like to."

"I love roller coasters, let's go!"

Dawn grabbed Mars' arm and dragged her off in the direction of the closest coaster, a narrow, twisting metal contortion that sped wildly along its course.

"After this, let's go on the merry-go-round, okay?" Dawn asked, sitting next to Mars in the car.

"Alrighty, sounds good to me," Mars replied, putting her hands behind her head and sprawling out.

Soon the two were frantically clutching each other in fear, shrieking at the top of their lungs as the ride lurched forwards, backwards and in all directions.

Stumbling blindly off the intense coaster, they laughed, still holding onto each other and plodding along to the waiting carousel.

"That was so extreme! My head is still spinning from going in all those loops," Dawn giggled, plopping down on a bench and grabbing her skull.

"I wonder if they have any that are even crazier than that one, it was awesome!" Mars agreed, sitting next to the younger girl.

"I hope they don't, I doubt I could take something worse. Are you ready for the merry-go-round?" Dawn shakily stood up, trying to stabilize herself.

"Yep, whenever you're good," was the confident reply as the older female strode off to the revolving ride.

"Oh no, look, I'm too young and short to ride the big one by myself… will you ride with me?" Dawn frowned, reading the sign and standing next to the height limit for the larger, faster of the two carousels.

"Sure! No problemo, just pick your horse," Mars smiled, following her onto the platform.

"Can we ride the pretty white one there, with the red, purple and blue gemstones?" Dawn eagerly pointed at an elegant, large horse with silver carvings and an outstretched, jumping pose.

"Ooooooh, that one's so pretty, let's go!" Mars squeed, hopping easily onto the wooden beast and helping the smaller female up.

"Yay, this is going to be so much fun!" she happily grabbed the pole, sitting in Mars' lap.

"Yep."

The ride started, slowly at first, before speeding up and rotating much faster.

The cheery music played as Mars and Dawn laughed about nothing in particular. People around them eyed the pair strangely but remained silent.

The glares of other people meant little to the two girls, who were quite content to stay in each others' company for another two go-arounds before finally being ordered off.

Skipping arm-in-arm down the main corridor of the fair, they stopped on the outskirts and gazed at the sun, sinking lower and lower on the horizon.

"MAAAARS! There you are! It's time to go home, come along now," Saturn waved from off in the distance, his other arm around Jupiter, who appeared to be staring off into the sky at a faintly shining planet or star.

"Ooooooh, I've gotta go back with them, dangit! Why do they always want to leave so early? Hey, will you be here tomorrow? I will if you are," Mars stomped her foot before getting a thoughtful look on her face.

"Yeah, I'll be back. Should we meet here at, say, 9?" Dawn agreed, thinking.

"Sure, that sounds great! See you then!" Mars turned to walk off before being stopped by the gentle, uncertain touch of Dawn's fingers on her arm.

"I had a really nice time today… because of you," Dawn whispered, leaning up and tenderly kissing Mars on the cheek for a couple seconds before turning and running off.

Mars remained stationary for a minute or two, raising her hand to her cheek and stroking the now-flushed skin before smiling and heading after her fellow commanders, faithfully waiting for her on the hill.


	8. Pluto's Tale

Skipping the order to post like, one of the few fics about good ole boi Pluto. Haha. Leave a review about what you think!! Hope you enjoy Old Man Science's little tale.

The newly-revealed member, apparently known as Pluto but from here on out referred to as Professor Creepy, deserves some love, wouldn't you say?

* * *

On the lowest floor of the Galactic Headquarters, beneath the warehouse basement, there lies a large, stark white room with smaller rooms attached, filled with large tubes, control panels, electrical equipment. The main room is stocked with chemicals, testing technology, a dim, hanging light in the center, bendable tubes twisting every which way, and a single, ratty, swirling, wheeled chair, back half-hanging off, is shoved under a desk coated in papers and notes.

This is where I dwell. For coming up on forty years, I've experimented, researched and developed a million and one things in this chamber of science. When I slither out, well, for a bit over a decade I've had a little… bonding project. Not really between myself and anyone, but I have a debt, you could call it, relating to my boss. And his relations. Sure, Cyrus has them. He's on decent terms with the commanders, I'd even call the longest-serving three and me his friends. But there's one person in particular…

"Sir, the new supplies for your latest project have arrived."

Some grunt delivering something. "Set them down on that table below the exotic flora cabinet." Easy enough orders to follow, right? One would think so, at least. "The 'exotic flora,' sir? Those aren't narcotics, are they? I wasn't aware we were in the drug-dealing bus-" Jiminy Cricket this kid is a genuine snoop. "We're not. They're the leaves and seeds of various rare species with potential healing or destructive capabilities. Like herbs, you nitwit. I'm not in the business of snorting anything. If the supplies are secured, you're quite free to leave."

He got the message and booked it back up the stairs, a cold metal door, painted white but chipping to reveal the steel beneath, slamming shut behind him. Good thing all the grunts are so afraid of anyone high-ranking they scatter at the sight of us.

I don't exactly want to put all these new supplies away right now. There's a lot, I had to order a mess of new things to replace what I've been running on for a decade. All this new-fangled technology… all it's good for is breaking down. That's it. Oh the commanders like their cell phones, mp3 players, computers, all that crap so their lives are that much more indulged. Not like they don't already make millions and millions a year.

Saturn and Jupiter do, at least. As far as I know Mars isn't on a payroll, whatever she wants, her dearest Cyrus buys. It works, you know. She's got a good system.

I suppose I'll stroll around Headquarters, see what the commanders are up to. Oh, I'm not a commander myself, no, going out on all those missions, being athletic and skilled at robbery, not being a short, stumpy man, none of that appeals to me. I am quite content to be a professor, researching anything that peaks my interest. And they give me a whole floor to myself.

It feels strange climbing out of this dungeon sometimes. I'm not its prisoner, but it's still my home. Good to have a place you belong. Good to have a niche in the world.

"Hey Creepy," Mars waves, strolling by with her Purugly, Luxray, shiny Staraptor, Bronzong, Crobat and Gallade. "Greetings, Commander. Where are you off to?" I question, she doesn't usually walk around with her team.

She rolls her eyes, obviously not entirely thrilled, "Cyrus thinks we commanders don't battle enough and he wants us to do some practice. Why battle when you can simply shoot whoever stands in your way?" "An excellent point, a bullet is so much more effective than a battle. Regretfully my team sees little time outside their balls, perhaps I should join in," I admit, attempting to remember the last time I sent one of my Pokemon out. My memory failed me…

Ah yes, when I captured a Heatran crawling around Stark Mountain, that was fairly recent. That crotchety old creeper is quite content to be doing nothing all day, I do believe. It didn't look entirely thrilled to be placed in charge of protecting the volcano while the usual Guard Heatran was away in the first place. My Ditto, stolen Porygon2, Torterra, Rotom and Gliscor haven't seen the light of day in over a year, more than likely. I admit, back in my youth, I was quite an adept battler, but in my decades as a scientist I've allowed my talents and Pokemon to slide. I still remember my first battle with little Turtwig against Cyrus' mother's chubby Bulbasaur.

Goodness I'm not his father, if that's what anyone's got into their head. Just his mother's old friend. I could tell you more about that poor boy than anyone else still alive. It's not exactly his fault he tries to block all emotions out of his life, just how he decided to cope with a lot of tragedy. Everyone has different methods…

"Professor, it is agreeable for you to join us today," his deep, monotone voice violates my thoughts and I look up to nod my head in agreement. "Certainly has been a while." "We haven't seen much of you since Mars and I helped you get Heatran and that rock," Jupiter comments, reflecting back on when she and the red head aided me in acquiring the lazy old Heatran and the Magma Stone he protected. "To be honest we haven't ever seen much of him," Saturn chuckles, a thoughtful expression on his face. His Toxicroak, Bronzor, Golbat, Garchomp, Glaceon and Sealio relax at his side, awaiting a chance to do some fighting.

Jupiter's Skuntank, Bronzong, Golbat, Froslass, Leafeon and the Shadow Articuno we stole from Team Cipher a while back seem to be less than thrilled to battle. Her Articuno glares around, always looking for a member of Cipher to wreak vengeance on. Some Shadow Pokemon never fully recover from the trauma of being transformed. I can't blame them. Nobody could. Though Shadow Chill and Shadow Sky are invaluable attacks…

"Everyone will send one Pokemon in per round and all five will fight until one remains. Commander Jupiter, Professor, send your Heatran and Articuno out during the same round," Cyrus finishes explaining, grasping a ball and releasing his Gyarados.

Naturally his Pokemon won every round, except when my grumpy old Heatran crushed everyone. Inevitable triumph, of course. We chatted a bit, exchanging friendly banter and battle critique before departing back to the dungeons we call offices. Except Mars decided not to return to hers.

"I haven't seen your lab in a while. Mind if I take a peek?" she asked innocently, but after my many years observing people, Pokemon, reactions, experiments, I knew she had an ulterior motive. Which was odd in and of itself, but I wasn't about to confront her. "If you're that curious about my chamber of science, I won't object." She smiled nervously.

Climbing down the stairways to the lowest floor of the building, we arrived in my 'office' and were greeted by boxes needing to be unpacked. "My apologies, Commander, I just received a shipment and declined from sorting the goods at the time of delivery," I had to be polite, courteous, considerate, she was, after all, my superior rank-wise.

"There's no need to explain the fact sorting crap is boring, or to be all proper with me. I may be Commander Mars and you just Professor… Creepy… but you've been here much longer than me. And we both know you know Cyrus better than I do. And I know him pretty well. But you know his past. You knew his parents. You also have a tendency to hit on me. Now why would that be?"

I smiled. I simply smiled. Could she ever fully grasp why? Would she be convinced I had no true romantic intentions with her? Did the others have the mental capacity to accept I wasn't a creeper, and I'd never married simply because I'd never married, not because I was waiting for the right vastly-younger female to come along? No real use in trying to lie to her, so I'll just have to hope she can comprehend why I've made the choices I have.

"It's… a very long story. Can you understand it all? We'll see. We'll see…" I trailed off, wondering where it was best to begin. "Why is it a long story?" she grumbled, folding her arms across her delicate chest. It's almost a shame she's physically inferior to Jupiter, she'd really stand a better chance…

"You'll find out why it's a long story when I'm finished telling it." "Well tell it already."

I simply smiled again. She wanted to know. She'd always been a curious little thing, demanding answers. Searching for them when nobody else knew. The only thing she'd never found is what happened to her father. But that's a whole different story.

"Cyrus' mother and I were classmates. She inherited the family corporation upon her mother's passing and renamed it Team Luna with the intent to explore the moon. Team Galactic is really a generational organization, it simply changes names once passed on to the next child. She took over after we graduated from college, and shortly after met Cyrus' father. While headquarters was in Veilstone, we'd been raised in Sunyshore, and she determined she'd raise her own children there too. I was the head researcher of Team Luna, studying various methods of getting to the moon, colonizing it, surviving on it, that trend of thought.

"Cyrus was their first child. And only. 16 weeks after his birth, exactly, his father died of cancer. His mother never remarried. The poor boy grew up with me in the paternal role, but I could never be a father, I simply wasn't cut out to nurture children. I certainly could never be his father. He was always so strange… enjoying staring at the stars over talking to people, constructing anything technological instead of hanging out with people."

I paused, sighing to myself, wondering how best to approach this next part. She probably wouldn't take it well. Her jealousy would flare, her face would turn green with envy before red with anger. There was no way to say what would make her feel better before I introduced this subject, it simply had to come after. It wouldn't make sense otherwise, it just wouldn't make sense…

Like so many other things I've suffered through.

"Then he met Christine." Her face contorted, eyes darkening, the small, curious smile quickly turning into a tight-lipped frown. The redhead knew of the existence of a former flame of her beloved, and it has never been an acceptable subject to bring up in her presence. The other woman was gone and never to be brought up again. The hair on the back of her neck was bristling, though I couldn't see it, I knew it was her reaction to the only competition in female form she had.

"It was evident to me and his mother they would become more than the best of friends some day. Whether you'd prefer to ignore her existence for all eternity or discuss her daily is no great care of mine, she was what brought him out of his shell and you owe him even experiencing love to her. If he'd never had love to miss he'd certainly have no hidden desire to regain that feeling of wholeness.

"Now Christine was nothing like you. Robin's egg blue eyes, bouncing tan and cream hair, flowing down her back held up in pigtails, tall, not as skinny and delicate as you, certainly not a scared, lonely little girl looking for someone to take her in…" She cut me off angrily. "Get on with it, Creepy. I don't have all day to listen to you reflect on a rotting carcass." So Christine was a carcass. Not a corpse. Corpse sounded more human, sounded important, valued. Carcass sounded like a piece of meat to be eaten or a heat-exhausted animal decaying in the desert. Whether she realized it or not, this woman she dehumanized at every chance left the opening in Cyrus' heart for her to fill.

"Very well. They started going out. They were inseparable. It seemed destined to be, the perfect couple. Meanwhile, the other scientists and I had discovered a way to go to the moon, to live on it, to survive on it. To be free of this world and create another. Several government agencies, the backdoor, secret agencies nobody wants you to know exist, were… displeased… about this. The only solution they could gather was to remove the face on the program, the head of the company.

"16 years after his parents were married, exactly, of course, a trio of snipers surrounded the area outside the headquarters. His mother stepped outside and received three bullets to the head. Needless to see, she was dead. It devastated young Cyrus, already troubled by being raised without a genuine father. Before she was assassinated she had made me promise to keep him happy, to ensure he never lost sight of love, to watch over and protect him. But never to try to be a parent he no longer had. She didn't want be being something I wasn't.

"With Christine's love and my support he kept on, taking over Team Luna and revoking the name, unsure of a new one. Things were okay. They were really okay. The moon missions were forgotten about and I turned to researching anything and everything that caught my eye. No scientific notion escaped my scrutiny. But what was it all for without a true aim to strive for? Then two of your old friends came onto the scene.

"You didn't know Paula and George have been villains for longer than you, did you?" "No, they never really talk about their first year or their first mission. Whenever the rest of us proudly discuss our failures they always shrug it off or change the subject. We always assumed they joined after me, around when McCartney and Harrison did. You knew them before?"

I sighed. This was never easy to remember. Never easy to talk about. Never something I wanted to tell Mars about her friends. "Yes. They had just been sent out to rob a museum. It was a minor theft, to simply make sure their training was successful. Christine was 16. She had a summer job at the museum. It was supposed to be closed that day, for renovations after an earthquake. She shouldn't have been there. They called her in, said she needed to monitor the workmen. So she went.

"She was walking through the room with the three vases Paula and George were supposed to steal. They were already sneaking across the floor when she saw them and ran for the alarm. You remember how it was to be new, inexperienced, adrenaline rushing, excited, engaged, frightened, eager to please, you'd do anything to be a success…"

"Yeah, I do remember. I still think of missions like that in the back of my mind. I can't help it."

"I understand. They panicked. What else are newbies to do? Paula had a gun, she looked at George, so young and confused, he nodded, and she aimed…

"Christine stumbled out of the museum. Cyrus and I had been on our way to see her. He was going to propose that afternoon. Paula and George grabbed the vases and ran for it, mortified at what happened their first mission out. It wasn't really their fault, they didn't know who she was until after, they'd never been trained in how to make an escape after an alarm had been pulled, they didn't know what else to do. I think they were set up by Maxie, it really wasn't their fault…"

"So they killed Cyrus' old girlfriend? On the first mission they never talk about?" "Yes. Those poor souls never intended to harm anyone, now they certainly wouldn't need to, they know how to succeed without shooting, but back then, well, any agents from any team would've done it. Any poor, innocent rookie trying to make a place in a world of emotionally crippled criminals…

"In any case, she stumbled out and collapsed in his arms. And died there. Before I could run into the museum and call for an ambulance she was dead. After that point, he decided emotions only caused pain, especially love. So he shut them out of his life. But they never were fully gone, as you know.

"When he met you, I could see a change. The way he'd acted with Christine was the way he acted with you, no matter how he tried to hide any affection. But of course, he'd never act on it, would he? Not without a little motivation to. You see where I'm going with this? If you felt threatened by advances from me, he'd feel obligated to pose as 'your' man which allowed him to express his true feelings for you whether he recognized them or not.

"Of course I have no true interest in your vastly-young self, I never got married because I never got married, and if I ever was to marry it'd be to some other old, crusty, wrinkly, prune-juice drinking elder not an underage bimbo. But my plan does work quite nicely, doesn't it?"

I smirk, watching her try to process all this. "So George and Paula owned that slut, Cyrus decided to be a big boss man with no feelings, and you wanted him to shag me by making him jealous?" "More or less." "Oh… I guess I owe you then."

She turned and left, giving a last-minute wave. It was a lot for her to take in, I suppose. But at least she knew. At least he had someone. Part of the promise I made to his mother was to never let him go through life alone. Even if he didn't want to accept his love for Mars, since that's what it is, he still was in a backwards sense.

Sometimes I wonder if I'd have stuck with the team for so long if I didn't have such a wrecked childhood. Poor Rotom didn't mean to shock me… it was just how he was. How he was… but emotionless isn't how Cyrus was, nor how he should be. Some day he'll realize what Mars is for him, just like my little robot for Rotom.

A catalyst to ease the pain.


	9. Jupiter's Diary 1

So here it is... hoping this one doesn't have grammarfail like that which was mentioned in my review but alas I didn't really check lol since this was written loooong while back. I've decided to do a Part 2 with more serious, deep, philosophical sp? content lol. Will write that once I finish my current 'shot and the Halloween special. Enjoy, leave a review if you read, let me know someone's reading these. :x lol.

Mars finds Jupiter's diary and decides to read it… with Cyrus… what does the pink-haired commander have to say for herself? Find out now…

* * *

Strolling around the corridors of the Galactic building in the early morning/late night was Mars, unable to sleep and longing to do something.

She tripped over something and barely caught her balance before whirling around to glare at the obstacle.

The leg of Jupiter stuck out into the hallway. Undisturbed by being hit, the sleeping commander remained unconscious.

_What in the world is she doing out here in the middle of the night?_ Mars wondered to herself, slowly creeping up to her fellow female and bending over.

_What's this? A journal? OMG, is this her diary?! I wonder what it says…_ the commander looked around before snagging the book out of Jupiter's loose grip and quietly running down the hallway, darting into the first unlocked room she found.

Which just happened to be Cyrus' office.

"Commander? Is someone pursuing you? It is most unusual for you to not be sound asleep at the current hour, and you certainly never run down the hallways this late at night unless you are drunk, but even then you never have clothes on, and you currently do," Cyrus rambled, standing up from his desk, grabbing his gun and quickly moving to her side.

"No, no, I'm fine. I just couldn't sleep and took a walk, then I tripped over Jupiter, who was asleep in the hallway, saw her diary, jacked it, and ran in here to read it. Your concern is appreciated though. You can read it with me if you like," Mars replied, smiling and going to sit on his desk.

"That is an extreme violation of privacy. However, since you found it in a public location in the building I will let it slide. Pick a random page and let us go from there," Cyrus agreed, sitting down in his chair. Mars slid off the desk and onto his lap, slightly disgruntling her boss. He allowed her to stay, though.

"Okay, this one is a couple months ago…"

_Dear Diary,_

_Yesterday was a great day. This morning is rather painful. _

_Saturn and I went clubbing, and we both got rather drunk. So we came back and I stupidly went with him to his room… alone… and he locked the door. I was drunker than him, so he tricked me into standing on his table and stripping for him. He got really turned on by it. Then we both wanted some so we had sex on the table. It was REALLY, REALLY good! After a couple hours of that we passed out… and now I have a horrible hangover and some rather sore body parts. I've always thought he had a very long, strong tongue… In any case I think next time we go out we'll shrink the alcohol content a bit. Mars and Cyrus are so stupid they have no clue we do anything though, hahaha._

Mars was laughing madly while Cyrus blinked. "Commander Jupiter is an idiot, I have known of her physical relationship with Commander Saturn for ages. You were right, I should not have hired the stupid slut," Cyrus had a rather mortified expression on his face that was laced with amusement, making Mars cackle even harder.

"Okay, okay, let's see what she says about the next day."

_Dear Diary,_

_OMG, Mars is such a dirty whore. Scratch that, slut. Today she told me and Saturn her favorite thing to sit on is Mini Cyrus. We were extremely disturbed. So then we tried ignoring her, and she got mad. So she pointed out my favorite place to sit was Saturn's lap too. Naturally I couldn't deny it, considering I was lap dancing him at the moment._

_She proceeds to talk about all the dirty things she's going to do with him on their honeymoon. Saturn asked if they were engaged, and sadly Mars said no, but that eventually she would marry him. M'kay, she's 17, he's 27, he's her boss, she's sickening. I mean, Saturn and I are at least the same age!_

_Then Cyrus walks in and she starts grinding with him. You can tell he's totally disgusted by her, but she doesn't care, and would rather get laid by a guy who has no emotions than someone who loves her and shows it. All the grunts walking around outside are laughing at poor Cyrus. Everybody feels sorry for him. Nobody pities Mars, it's really rather amusing. Saturn and I do kinda feel bad for her, being in love with a man who doesn't feel and is ten years older than her. _

_Then Saturn took me to the casino and won me a HUUUUGE stuffed Palkia, since he knows I like Palkia the best of the three dragons. After we went back and sat in my room watching a movie he scored again… with me… on the couch. HE always tells me he loves me, though, and I love him. Dang, if anyone ever found this I'd be screwed._

"I remember that day…" Cyrus almost frowned, obviously not enthused by the memory.

"Dang, Saturn gets a lot of action. See Cyrus, you could be even better than him!" Mars wiggled her butt, trying to get a rise out of him.

"Cease your vain attempts to coerce me into a sexual relationship or I shall kick you out."

"Whatever."

_Dear Diary,_

_Saturn is totally the sweetest man I've ever seen! It's his birthday today and he said the one thing he'd like most from me was to spend the whole day with me, shopping, hiking, talking, hanging out alone, going to dinner and watching a movie, then finally coming back and spending even more quality time together. I'm so glad I'm not an idiot like Mars and I fell for a handsome, kind, considerate, loving man with emotions. I mean, seriously, Cyrus is a noob: he's ugly, mean, self-absorbed, nasty and emotionless. Mars must have a really screwed-up past to fall as in love with him as she is. I mean, seriously, there's so many better guys out there for her, but she falls for the one who could never love her back. I wonder if he's ever felt love, or if he shut himself off before that. Actually, what caused him to give up emotions in the first place? Saturn and I talked about it tonight and we both think the two of them have more detailed pasts than they're letting on. _

_In any case, tomorrow we're all going to go watch the Pokemon Master battle Steven. It's going to be intense!_

"You are in love with me?" Cyrus bluntly, emotionlessly asked. Mars felt incredibly stupid and blushed, trying to get off his lap, but he restrained her.

"Yes…" she whispered, embarrassed. She had always known that no matter how much she loved him, he could never love her back, and she hoped he'd never find out about her adoration.

"That is acceptable."

"What do you mean?"

"Take off your clothes, Commander, and sit on your favorite thing," he sounded seductive and experienced, nibbling on her ear as he simpered into it, licking the inside.

Mars shivered, feeling his hands roaming over her chest and groping her.

For the first time, the thought occurred to Mars that this was wrong: she WAS a minor and he WAS her older boss. She felt unclean and frantically yanked his hands off her, quickly standing up.

"Mars, what ever is the matter? You always wanted this, why are you repulsed by it now?" Cyrus murmured, grabbing her and pulling her back down so he could suck on her neck.

"I… ohhh… never thought… oooh… this would ever… OOOHH… happen," she moaned out, trying to fight him.

"You should have," and suddenly he stopped, returning to Jupiter's diary.

_Dear Diary,_

_Wow, it was awesome watching Steven get owned. He used Metagross and Swampert, but they were no match against Heatran and Lugia, even though both are young and not as powerful as adults! _

_After that the four of us went to linner and met a bunch of coordinators. They were pretty fun to mess with. I think this purple-haired guy who dressed like a woman was totally hitting Cyrus up. I mean, this guy called Cyrus 'sexcellent' every other sentence! Mars was sitting in Cyrus' lap by the end to protect her claim. I was already in Saturn's lap to let everyone know he was mine. _

_Saturn really wanted to write something, but I told him to get his own. He said he already has one, and it's filled with pictures of me. Now, in what state of dress, he didn't say. Not that I mind…_

"See Cyrus, you could take pictures of me and put them in a book to look at!" Mars smiled at him.

Completely seriously, Cyrus informed her he already had enough videos of her in the shower.

Considering how loud Mars gasped, it's amazing Jupiter didn't wake up.

_Dear Diary,_

_Us three commanders played Would You Rather today. Here are our answers, Saturn's first, then mine, then Mars'._

_Would You Rather:_

_Kiss Cyrus or Saturn: Myself, Saturn, Cyrus_

_Kiss Saturn or Jupiter: Jupiter, Saturn, Jupiter sick_

_Kiss Mars or Jupiter: Jupiter, Myself, Jupiter Clean sweep_

_Kiss Saturn or Mars: Myself, Saturn, Myself_

_Kiss Jupiter or Cyrus: Jupiter, Myself, Cyrus_

_Kiss Cyrus or Mars: Suicide, Suicide, Cyrus ew_

_Eat a Brussels Sprout or Spinach: Sprout, Sprout, Spinach _

_Do anything sexual with a male or female: Female, Male, Male_

_Lick a frozen pole or a boiling pot of water: Pole, Pole, Pot LOL_

_Chew on beef jerky or candy: Jerky, Candy, Both at the same time_

_Get transformed into Dialga, Palkia or Giratina: Dialga, Palkia, Giratina_

_Be stuck in a closet with Venus or Giovanni: Venus, Venus, Venus_

_Be stuck in an even smaller closet containing yogurt, whips and chocolate sauce with Jupiter, Saturn, Cyrus, Mars or Venus: Jupiter, Saturn, Cyrus the latter happened_

_Eat yellow or red snow: Red, Red, Who's is it?_

_Win a million dollars or a lifetime supply of food: Food, Money, Money_

_Go shopping with unlimited funds with professional stylists or your love interest: Love, Love, Love_

_Listen to rap or country: Rap, Rap, Rap_

_Drive a pale pink Cadillac or a cherry red T-Bird: Cadillac, Cadillac, T-Bird_

_Drink a smoothie or slushy: SHAKE, Smoothie, Slushy_

_Then we got bored and stopped. But it was really fun. I wish we could get Cyrus to play sometime and see what he says, heh. _

"I do not believe my answers would provide as much humor as she believes," Cyrus commented, seeming almost sad.

"Oooooh, I'd love to know them!" Mars squeed, turning around to face him… which in turn meant she now straddled him.

"Invite me next time, stupid," he retorted, leaning back in his chair.

_Dear Diary,_

_We went to the beach today, and yesterday, and it was really fun. Mars got tangled up in a bunch of rope though and was washed out to sea and Cyrus had to run out after her and free her. She was rather rattled after that and made one of us, usually Cyrus, give her a piggy-back ride the whole time after that. Saturn and I made a huge sand castle while Cyrus proved himself to be actually really good at flying stunt kites. Mars browsed through the winter storm sand and found a lot of cool shells, stones, floats and glass. She's pretty good at beachcombing, amazingly._

_Then Cyrus and Saturn went fishing and caught a bunch of fish, then we all went out on the Team Galactic Recreational Boat and caught some huge crabs. So then we went back to the hotel and Cyrus cleaned everything and he was, again, really good at it. But Saturn cooked them, because my man's girly. Mars acted like a sissy and did nothing important, but I set the table, because I'm the neat, organized, mathematical one. I feel sorry for Cyrus, he got stuck with the useless girl, but lucky Saturn got me. Then again, he is emotionless, so I doubt he cares. Although, watching him take Mars to get ice cream, watch the sunset and take a late-night stroll on the beach made Saturn and I wonder if he is indeed as emotionless as he claims._

_In any case, the grunts are all speculating about our relationships now, you know, who's going out with who, how far have they gone, etc. Haha, they think Saturn, Cyrus and Mars are in a threesome but Mars cheats on them with me! They're all soooo stupid, OMG. Oh well, Cyrus is an idiot for hiring them, so, whatever. _

"Commander, perhaps we should provide more speculation for the rumor mills…" Cyrus hinted, leaning forward to move his face closer to Mars'.

"Wh-what do you mean?" she timidly asked, trying to move back.

He grabbed her rear to hold her in place and she yelped, surprised by his actions.

"What do you think I mean? Take off your clothes, or do you need help?" once again he licked her ear as she tried to fight him off.

"Oooooh, this is so wrong! I don't want to, but, but, I do… But we shouldn't, it's not right, you're ten years older, my boss, I'm a minor, it's nasty… OH, stop it, stop it!" she moaned, flailing as he bit her neck.

"You never cared before. Considering I do not have emotions, I do not care now, I just figured I would give you what you always wanted. Now you would refuse me?"

"No… but I always wanted you to love me, but you never will, and I don't want to do it with someone who doesn't love me… Oooooh, this is so wrong! Please don't make me, Cyrus, you don't love me, no matter how much I love you, and you never will… oh, let go, let go of me, stop it, eep, let GO!"

Mars was valiantly trying to escape his grasp, but the firm grip of Cyrus was inescapable.

"Don't lie to yourself, Mars, there's been nothing wrong with it in the past, what's wrong now?"

He had taken most of their clothes off and Mars was ready to cry.

"IT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING! It's sick and wrong and I don't want to, please let me go Cyrus, don't make me do this! JUPITER, HEEEEEELP!"

The snoozing commander snapped awake when she heard her name and hopped to her feet, running in the direction of the scream.

She burst through Cyrus' door to find Mars pinned between Cyrus and his desk, trying to fight him off, and both in their underwear.

"Oh sick! What do you need my help for, to film it?" Jupiter stuck her tongue out and turned to walk away.

"Yes." "NO!" were the two replies she got.

"Jupiter, call Saturn, he's trying to rape me, make him stop!" Mars screamed as Cyrus looked at her with shock on his face.

"You really do not want to do this. Very well, you have lost your opportunity, it shall not be offered again," Cyrus shrugged, got off her, magically pulled his clothes back on in a second and walked out.

Mars really did begin crying.

"No, wait, come back, don't leave me, I'll do it, er, you, just don't say this is my only chance, come on, please, don't go Cyrus, I love you…" she sobbed, horrified she'd never be hit on again, even when she was 18.

"If you insist…" Cyrus shrugged again, turning around.

"What is going ON here?" a tired, wet Saturn asked. He was wearing just a towel and looked like he hadn't finished his shower.

"Mars finally realized how sick she is, and Cyrus tried to screw her, but she said no, so he just said he'll never offer again, and now she's sad and wants to," Jupiter calmly explained, leaning against the open doorway.

"What in the WOR-- OH CRAP!" Saturn's towel decided to fall down at that moment, right as Mars popped her head out the door and Cyrus was staring at him.

Jupiter just smiled, considering how often she sees it, Mars' mouth dropped open, and Cyrus attempted to turn away.

"OH SNAPS HE GOT TURNED ON BY ME…. AHHHHH!" Saturn squealed in horror, looking at Cyrus like he was a three-headed monster.

Saturn ran away down the hall with Jupiter chasing after him with his towel, telling him to slow down and she'd make it all better.

Cyrus had a very red face and Mars was frozen in place.

Then she snapped back to action, walked over to him, led him back into his office, locked the door, magically removed all his clothes again in one second, hopped on top of him and told him this:

"Allow me to reaffirm your heterosexuality."


	10. SLOWPOKETAILS HYUCK HYUCK HYUCK

Well this is a contest entry already up on sppf so it's here too. Sorry if any parts are awkward and seem like a swear word should be there, I censored them all originally but like deleted the star symbol :c so idk lol. ENJOY :D

In reply to reviews: Blake: my faithful reviewer ;; Well they were on vacation, thus not at Veilstone. :P But glad you liked it! AppealShippingRulez: We're assuming she suddenly had an epiphany that there was a 10 year, underage difference going on... then decided ohey, it didn't REALLY matter that much. o)

Team Galactic decides to cash in on Team Rocket's old money scheme, SLOWPOKETAILS. Hyuck, hyuck, hyuck.

* * *

"How did Team Rocket get all their money? They were never so rich before the invasion of Johto. Madame Boss didn't have a hidden cash cow. So HOW?" Mars yelled at the bleeding, bruised Rocket executive, smacking him with the back of her hand. Each finger had a large, pronged ring, and the jewelry left bloody cuts across the loyal Rocket's face. The gemstones had been removed, leaving only the open, sharpened prongs.

He steeled himself against her next blow as she continued to scream at him for the secret to Team Rocket's fortune. "WHAT IS IT?!" the redhead fumed, raking her blood-stained rings down his chest over his heart. Pools of blood were collecting on the floor, and as she stepped to kick his back the puddles splashed up, coating his bare legs.

With her kick the chair he'd been tied to broke, and he flew onto the floor, attempting to raise his nose out of the hot, red liquid so he didn't drown. He felt her cold hand wrap around his neck and her perfectly-polished nails dig into his throat. Gurgling up more blood and unable to escape the deepening pool, he slumped down, choking.

"You could've just told me, and you'd have spared yourself all this. You wouldn't have needed to be Pluto's test subject for his pain inhibitor. I think it works quite well, don't you? Stops the brain from making you pass out due to extreme pain, so you have to lie awake and suffer through more than you're designed to. Ingenious, ain't it?" she smirked, digging her long nails further into his flesh.

He shook his head, one eye hanging out of the socket finally disconnecting and dropping into the puddle, splashing his blood into the gaping hole. He hoarsely screamed, attempting to shake it out. In the background, the whir of machinery droned on as a rough, masculine voice gave orders to grunts. Something rose-tinted shone into his eye every so often as the origin of the commands looked up from his clipboard to study the Rocket.

Mars stepped onto a very sensitive area, pressing her foot down lightly. "You've still got a chance to tell me, Fred John Bernard. How did they get the money?" she scowled, leaning into his ear to hiss the words out. "How… how do you know my name?" he moaned, spluttering out the blood that filled his mouth. "I was there when they promoted you. Pathetic, loyal fool. What's the secret?" red eyes glinted black as she crushed any hope of him ever being able to have kids with the sparkling white bottom of her boot.

"You… you… were in… Team Rock…et?" he wheezed, attempting to open his swollen eyelids so he could look at her. "Shocker, huh?" she flattened the flesh beneath her foot, twisting it into the ground. He let out another strangled scream as she smacked him once again. "TELL ME THE SECRET! I WON'T FAIL CYRUS SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU'RE INTENT ON BEING STUBBORN!" her voice rose as she fumed, kicking him onto his back and shattering half his ribs.

One punctured his lung, and as he writhed on the floor trembling in pain his mind went blank, except for one thing…

"Slowpoke tails…"

She slit his throat with a silver dagger bejeweled with rubies and walked off, nodding to a huddled group of disgusted grunts to clean up the mess. They shuddered, but when her crazed glare focused fully on them, the underlings sprung into action.

Pluto curled one side of his lip up at the bloody mess lying in the center of the torture chamber. His invention had worked perfectly. They always did. He followed the redhead out, showing her the spikes of pain the Rocket had felt as she mutilated him.

"Excellent. Something that does exactly what it's supposed to and completely ruins the mental state of anyone it's used on. Pluto, you're a genius!" she exclaimed, clasping her sticky hands together girlishly. Now that she'd succeeded in acquiring the answer for Cyrus, she was back to her usual self. Giddy, lighthearted and crazy for her boss.

The much-older male scanned her, wondering if he had some miracle cleaner he'd invented long ago to get all that blood off. "You should probably change before informing Cyrus of your discovery. He doesn't like his commanders to look so untidy, you know," the scientist rasped, frowning disapprovingly at the smears of blood her boots left in her wake.

Looking down at her thin frame, she had to agree Cyrus would be most displeased with her current appearance. "You go find some grunt to clean that up and I'll change," she ordered, hurrying off as Pluto went to opposite way to scope out an unwilling janitor.

She opened the door to her room, sighing as it closed. Why did they have to be so brutal sometimes? That Rocket was a good man. Sure, he was deathly loyal to Team Rocket and was a qualified executive, but he didn't deserve that. But if Cyrus said he did, then it couldn't be helped. 'Get the secret any way you can,' he'd told her, 'Show no mercy.' So she hadn't.

The blood would be a problem to get out, though, she pouted, stripping off her uniform. Trotting into her large shower, she tossed off the rings onto the counter, hoping the now-dried blood of the unfortunate Rocket would come off.

In her fervent scrubbing to clean her hands, she didn't notice the curtain open and a large figure step in behind her. A sinister snort of amusement alerted her to a visitor. Spinning around, she relaxed at the sight of none other than her boss. "Cyrus, don't scare me like that! At least tell me you're in the room," she scolded, leaning up to kiss him. He backed up, frowning at her blood-stained skin.

"Attempt to clean yourself off before touching me. I take it acquiring the information was difficult. His screams echoed throughout the building," he coldly laughed, stroking a clean spot on her face. "It was… regrettable but necessary. Pluto tested his pain inhibitor on him. It was a success. A beautifully horrific success," she sighed, finishing washing the blood off.

He didn't seem to care. "What is the secret to wealth?" "Slowpoke tails. Hyuck, hyuck, hyuck."

HYUCKHYUCKHYUCKHYUCKHYUCKHYUCK

"Commanders, you have a new goal. There will be no other work until this task is accomplished. We must discover why Slowpoke tails are so valuable. Do it NOW!" Cyrus had called an emergency meeting with the three commanders and informed them of their new task.

"Slowpoke tails? What the heck? You mean like, you chop off a Slowpoke's tail and sell it?" Jupiter scrunched her nose, disturbed at such a strange prospect. "Yes, unfortunately. That's how Team Rocket got rich! They depleted the entire Slowpoke Well population and sold all their tails. Now they're the richest team," Mars sniffed delicately, flipping through Rocket sales statistics.

Saturn rolled his eyes. "Aren't we above Googling why some weirdoes want to buy Slowpoke tails for ridiculous prices?" he whined, thinking of all the things he'd be better off doing. "If it means becoming OUTRAGEOUSLY WEALTHY, then nothing is below our standards!" Cyrus roared with laughter, his eyes glistening with insanity. Mars dreamily smiled, watching him cackle in a burst of evil.

"This is really pathetic," the magenta-haired female whispered to Saturn as they left the room, the redhead a couple steps behind. "I know, it's absolutely a complete waste of our time. Not to mention what are we supposed to find out that wouldn't be disgusting? Lonely, rich housewives use them as di-" he whispered back before Mars cut him off, "I know you two think this is stupid, but if Cyrus thinks it's a good idea, it's obviously sheer brilliance!"

The other two looked at her. "You're right, he seems very enthused about this, it must be spectacular!" And suddenly their boss' bravado statements blinded them once again.

Sitting down in the Galactic Computer Lab, the three began searching for information on Slowpoke tails. Saturn decided to distract himself by trying to get on /b/ and vote on their "Hottest Girl" contest, but Mars punched one of his hair curls down into a crater and he ran off crying to find a mirror to fix it. Jupiter leaned over to see what he was looking at, and when pictures of anorexic women with implants flooded the screen she punched it out.

"You're going to have to pay for that, you know," Mars scolded, waggling her finger in a displeased manner. "Well maybe you should /b/lock that stupid site! All he ever does is look at naked women on it," Jupiter moaned, looking ready to cry herself. "Oh BAAAAW! Don't take it so seriously, he's a straight, young adult who is very interested in women. Really dear, do you have to be so upset over every little thing he does?" the redhead rolled her eyes disapprovingly. "You sound like Cyrus with a vagina," the older female retorted.

Mars looked mortified, "Well I never!"

Saturn chose that moment to return and began whining someone had ruined his woman-viewing time. "Well maybe you should focus on researching Slowpoke tails you jerkoff," Jupiter scowled, sticking her nose up as he tried to sit next to her. "You'll just have to share a computer with one of us! Since all the other computers in here are broken, you know! And there's certainly not enough room near me for you to sit, unless I sat on your lap, which I'm certainly not doing," red eyes glinted mischievously, watching the male squirm as a dangerous aura seemed to exude from the remaining commander.

Pluto chose that moment to burst in, a bloody lump of something twitching in his gloved hands. "I have a Slowpoke tail!" he exclaimed triumphantly, waving the mass around as blood showered the room. "Oh ew, Pluto stop, I don't want to be coated in it!" the magenta haired female groaned, looking at the dots of red now gracing her uniform. "Why is it still moving?" Saturn paled, eyes focused in a horrified stare at the flailing tail. "Thanks a lot, you short circuited this computer by shaking that thing around! Really Pluto, couldn't you have washed it first?" the youngest in the room frowned, waggling her finger to scold him.

The scientist looked blankly at them. "You're concerned about your anorexic waistline having a few spots of blood, you're worried about the nerve endings reacting, and you're worried about a computer that still ran Windows 95? FOOLS! This is a SLOWPOKE TAIL! It's what will get us rich, and all you can focus on is material things!" he roared, stopping only to thump his chest when he began coughing furiously.

"Isn't getting rich and having a lot of money material?" Mars blinked, while the other two's eyes lit up with delight. "WE'LL BE RICH!" "IT'S A SLOWPOKE TAIL :D" they shouted.

Pluto pulled out a pistol and smacked the underage female with it. "Never mention such plot holes, fool!" he hissed quietly into her ear as she moaned for Cyrus. Straightening back up to as straight as the crooked old man could be, he turned to address the eager, oblivious commanders. "Yes, this will soon be the secret to a utopia of monetary delights. The likes of which no evil team has ever seen!" he began cackling in a horribly rasp smoker's cough-like laugh.

They cheered, not noticing the angered redhead slipping on rings without jewels. "NOBODY PISTOLWHIPS ME AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!" she shouted, slashing his cheek open. The Slowpoke tail dropped to the ground as he reached up to grab his face, and the severed limb slithered out the door as an irritated Cyrus walked in.

"What are you all arguing about… why did a dismembered tail scamper out the door?" he closed his eyes and counted to ten, hoping this was some sort of odd daydream that would end soon enough. Opening them again and looking at the bloody trail on the floor, he sighed, knowing something like this could only happen to him.

Archie and Maxie were gay, and Giovanni was fantasized about by a talking cat on drugs, and everyone else was minor and never televised, but only Cyrus had three sexually-frustrated commanders and an ancient scientist with a fetish for the undead.

"BECAUSE IT'S ALIVE!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Pluto shrieked in a mentally-unstable state of insanity. Cyrus deftly palmed the back of his head, knocking the bloody, crazed scientist out.

"Ugh Cyrus he's such a creeper! He tried to pistolwhip me so I shredded his wrinkly face. Protect me and care for me and lovingly stroke me. Sadie and Jupi can research the value of the tails since we only have one computer here now," Mars pitiably pleaded, lovingly stroking Cyrus' face. "Very well," the boss acquiesced, walking off with her in tow.

Saturn wondered what he'd ever done to be left alone with a raging woman. Jupiter glared at him and spun around in her chair, focusing on the blurry old screen. She really should be using her laptop for this, since it was modern and magenta and pretty, and wait, why were they using the team computers when they had laptops?

Stop, that's detrimental thinking to this plot!

Oh well, it didn't matter, she was stuck in a room with a horny guy who couldn't keep himself off of dirty websites. Mars had told her once he really favored deep magenta hair and eerily skinny waists, so maybe that was why he was staring at her with such an adoringly creepish look.

"I'm not giving you another glance," she firmly concluded, focusing on the archaic article on Slowpoke tails the wonders of Google had produced. "Look, I know you think I'm some pervert who spends all his time looking up naked girls on the internet and has five subscriptions to Playboy and frames every Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. But I don't! And I'm not gay, either," he hurriedly added when she snorted in amusement, "I just like trolling /b/ by voting for the ugly girl they always have. If I'd have known you and Mars would go batty over it I wouldn't have gone trolling with you two staring over my shoulder."

The magenta-haired commander reluctantly turned to face the bluenette. He had a look of genuine, pitiable sincerity on his pale face, staring timidly into her eyes. "Is it true you have a fetish for abnormally skinny waists?" she innocently asked, lowering her eyes to her disturbingly tiny waist. "Um, yes?" he blushed, nervously shifting feet. "Well go Google pictures of anorexic sluts then," she smirked, swiveling back to the computer to finish reading.

"Stop being difficult, woman! Now tell me what you find out and I'll write it down," he huffed, settling down into the chair with a notebook. "I'm not being difficult! You're being too sex-obsessed. Well, like we thought, Slowpoke tails are sold for more money than the average person has, and only very wealthy people are able to buy them. Genuine Slowpoke tails are the most valuable, imitation Slowpoke tail is sold for a more reasonable price, but contains far fewer of the desirable qualities a freshly-severed, cool tail has. This stuff is sick," Jupiter scrunched up her nose, reading the various articles on Slowpoke tails.

Saturn felt like hitting her. "I am NOT sex-obsessed! Why won't you believe me I was just trolling? You are lacking so much self-confidence," he retorted, glaring at the back of her head. "Well maybe I wouldn't be if you didn't give me a reason to! Write down this: Slowpoke tails have many appealing factors.

"First, they can be used as food. One bite of a Slowpoke tail will send you into an oral orgasm of sheer delight, and it's very filling too! There's no fat in a tail, and it contains a full day's worth of every vitamin and mineral you could want. Who found this bull out? Really now, this is sick.

"Second, squeezing a Slowpoke tail will produce blood if you squeeze near the base, but a green-yellow liquid if you squeeze near the top. The latter is an excellent sexual lubri- Oh what the people use Slowpoke tail juice during sex? Team Rocket for figuring this out."

Saturn paused mid-sentence and blinked. These facts weren't entirely processing in his mind. "Wait, guys rub something that oozes from a Slowpoke's dismembered, rotting tail that sounds a lot like pus on their dicks before ing a girl?" he felt an inability to think of anything sexual and get turned on for weeks coming on.

"Yes… that is so unbelievably nasty! Ew! Moving on, though I doubt this is going to get any better.

"Third, if you skin a Slowpoke tail, the white tip's epidermis can be ground into a fine powder and then snorted, smoked, or eaten for one of a wild ride. People get HIGH off Slowpoke tail skin?! This just keeps getting sicker and sicker.

"Fourth, the remaining pink skin can be used as a wrap to rejuvenate, exfoliate, and cleanse the pores of any body part in need of some good, old-fashioned care. Simply tie the skin around the area firmly down and let it sit for a few hours. Why not sip some Slowpoke tail blood wine while you wait? Blood wine? I thought that stuff was from Star Trek! People actually drink it?"

"I guess… I'd never want to. I don't even want to look at another Slowpoke tail, attached or detached, ever again!"

"Me either. Fifth, the blood from a Slowpoke's tail can be made into a very arousing, intoxicating wine. You won't know, care, or regret whatever happens after a glass or two of this very high-quality beverage. I think I'd rather die of dehydration than drink a drop of that.

"Sixth, the physical Slowpoke tail itself can be used as a sexually gratifying object in the absence of a real man. A hole can be poked into the tip which, when squeezed, will release a cool, erotic liquid. Rich housewives whose husbands are often on business trips enjoy Slowpoke tails in this manner… I never want to be rich if that's what rich people do. Saturn, let's be poor peasants so you can never leave me and I'll never be remotely tempted to whack off."

"Wait what? When did we determine we were going to be rich or poor? Better yet, when did we figure out we're getting married?" he dropped the pen in shock, wondering where exactly this notion had come from. At that moment, Cyrus and Mars returned to check on their progress.

"Oh, you're getting married?! How delightful! We'll simply have to plan an extravagant wedding!" Mars happily giggled, rushing over to congratulate the pair. Cyrus raised his eyebrows in amusement. "Wait, stop, no, it shouldn't have come out like that. I didn't mean to imply that we were getting married or anything…" Jupiter stuttered, suddenly realizing what she'd said.

Saturn kicked the pen with his foot. "So, uh, what was the seventh reason?" he smiled nervously, trying to ignore the giggling superiors. "Saturn and Jupiter, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Mars sang before being pistolwhipped by Pluto, who had recently recovered consciousness and was whirling his bloody hands around his body wildly.

"Pluto, I must request you refrain from beating females. I will lock the door to your lab if you don't stop," Cyrus grasped the older male by the back of the neck, tightening his grip. "Yes… sir…" the scientist hissed, eyes bulging as his lungs failed to take in air.

The redhead tenderly poked the side of her head where she'd been hit. Cyrus came up behind her and picked her up, presumably to carry her to get ice. Pluto departed a few moments later, grumbling and heading in the opposite direction.

The remaining commanders blinked. "Who'd have thought Pluto was a pistolwhipper?" Jupiter shrugged, turning back to the blurry screen to discover more disgusting facts about Slowpoke tails.

"Seventh, Slowpoke tails, when lit on fire, make very powerful explosives. They can be used as fireworks, bombs, mining tunnel excavation, or building demolition explosives. Be warned, the full tail will wipe out the entire state of Rhode Island! Well this is a fairly normal use."

"Finally something not perverted or disgusting."

"Wonder how long it'll last. Eighth, if exposed to black light, a Slowpoke tail will glow in darkness. They are able to absorb… some big word… and… some big verb… it as… another big word. Oh well. It doesn't really matter how it does it.

"Ninth, Slowpoke tails, when combined with various metals, make lovely firework displays. A single tail can illuminate five hours of darkness with an explosion a minute. That might be pretty, but I sort of wonder what kind of shapes it'd produce…"

"Something sexual, no doubt. Are we done yet?"

"No, this is the tenth and last use. If a male inserts his penis into the main artery of the tail, it can be used as a permanent enlarger. The current record for size gain is five inches. …What? People stick their dicks inside a rotting tail to make them grow? You wouldn't do that, would you?"

Saturn suddenly could only think of another thing he'd like to be inside. And she was sitting right in front of him. "No… unless you wanted me to." "Well I never would… why are you staring at my lap like that? Saturn? Why'd you throw the notepad outside? Why'd you lock the door? Saturn? Hello? Why are you climbing on top of me? What are you do-" she blinked, watching as he purposefully moved about, eyes glazed over like he was in a trance, before his lips silenced her.

She attempted to tell him to get off, but it came out sounding like ' me hard,' so he stayed on top of her. This really wasn't what she wanted to do after reading all those nasty Slowpoke tail facts, but it didn't look like Saturn had any intention of waiting. And she certainly wasn't about to _force_ him off…

Meanwhile, Mars eventually returned for the Slowpoke facts. Seeing the notes outside the door, she didn't bother to open it, picking them up and skipping off to go read. Cyrus had disappeared to somewhere, so she shrugged and sat in his big, plush, swiveling chair, absent-mindedly drinking his mocha latte… thing.

A dangerously crazed glint began sparkling in her eyes as she read what Saturn had written. When Cyrus returned to his office, he found his favorite commander cackling madly, waving the notepad around, eyes glazed over with a psychotic sheen. "Mars, you don't look normal," he warily stated, keeping his distance in case she snapped and attempted to harm him.

"Oh, I've never been more energized, more ready, more prepared to unleash the ultimate plan on the world! SOON EVERY DOLLAR ON THIS MISERABLE PLANET WILL BE ALL **MINE!!** AND THERE'S NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO ABOUT IT!" she shrieked, staggering around like she was stoned on half a dozen different drugs all at once. "Perhaps you need to consider what you are loudly spewing out of your mouth," the light-blue haired male suggested, unsure if he should move to restrain her or allow her streak of mental instability to simply wear itself out.

"I've already considered it. I'll be RICH! FILTHY, STINKING RICH! TEAM ROCKET WILL LOOK LIKE MEXICO'S POVERTY-STRICKEN POPULATION COMPARED TO ME!" she screamed wildly, cackling once again. "The plan was to acquire the funds for Team Galactic, not your personal use. Have you… forgotten me so easily when tempted by riches?" he almost began to pout, looking sadly at her crazed form.

She settled down immediately and rushed over to him, wrapping her arms around his legs. "Oh I'm sorry honeycakes you're right it's not about me it's about us. How could I have been so stupid and blind? I'll never be anything without YOU," she wailed pitiably, stroking his feet like he was some great god. Suddenly Cyrus wondered just how mentally troubled she really was.

"It is alright, Commander Dearest, you are forgiven. Now, come here and tell Big Poppa Cyrus your idea," he simpered, carrying her back to his chair. He cringed at having to use the pet names she'd created, but it would keep her calm for the moment. "Well, Pluto showed me the Slowpoke he had some grunts rip the tail off of, and it regenerated the tail! So there's an unlimited source of wealth from just ONE Pokemon! All we need to do is buy a Slowpoke breeding farm and pull their tails off and sell them. We have that 'Sexy Marketing Salesmen' division, you know, the one Saturn thought of? With that Abercrombie model guy and those three female models? The ones with the implants and long, flowing, wavy blonde hair? So we can have them market the tails, and rich people from all over will buy! Isn't it brilliant?"

Cyrus sighed. "Yes, Mars, it is ingenious. There is no question about how intelligent and clever you are for thinking up such a quality plan to get rich. Purchase the Slowpoke, instruct the marketing unit, and begin to sell the tails," he instructed, wondering just how sound this plot was.

When she didn't move from his lap, he attempted to nudge her off. "Commander, I believe I told you to begin." "Oh, there's plenty of time to sell Slowpoke tails. Right now, I have something even more enjoyable in mind," she seductively whispered, stroking the side of his face lovingly. "What would that be?" he asked routinely, playing along with her little game. She'd react the best if he just went along with whatever crazy things she came up with.

"Well, we could test out the theory Slowpoke tails are simply _excellent_ sexual stimulants…" she purred, reaching for a tail that was lying on the desk, recently deposited by Pluto when she'd asked him to check her math.

Cyrus attempted to keep from throwing up. "NO!" he shouted, rapidly standing up and running out of the room. Mars, now in a pile on the floor with the severed limb pinning her down, began crying.

In a few hours, when Saturn and Jupiter would discover their boss sitting in a corner, clutching his knees to his chest, rocking back and forth, muttering something about how his uncle who always wore a wife beater had his Slowbro beat Cyrus with its tail, they'd wonder how clever this whole idea was. Hitting the older male with a chair leg, still attached to the chair, they eventually subdued him enough to order some curious grunts to carry him back to his room.

Hearing their fellow commander still sobbing, the pair leaned cautiously into the office, peering warily around, ready to dart off at the first sign of anything disturbing. But alas, there was only Mars, trapped beneath a Slowpoke tail, miserably telling herself she wasn't a failure at love.

"Oh Mars, of course you aren't a failure at love! Cyrus was just abused as a child by his uncle and his Slowbro, that's all," Jupiter stupidly commented, smiling idiotically as Saturn kicked the tail off the female. "Really? He doesn't hate me?! Just pink tails?!" she hopped up excitedly, eyes shimmering.

"Of course he doesn't hate you! Just never bring up whatever you did to freak him out again and you'll be fine. He's in his room," the magenta-haired female replied, still cheery. "You're too happy. You're never this happy. You're always raging about something or other, and Saturn's always whining about some insignificant detail. Did you two have sex?" the redhead suddenly asked, putting her hands on her hips.

The other two commanders looked at each other, unsure how to best answer her blunt question. "Well, yes…" the bluenette shrugged at last. "Oh yay I win! I guessed right! I'm just _so_ super-awesome!" she cheered, waving as she darted out to go find Cyrus.

The duo was left standing, staring out the door at the younger girl. "Alright then," Jupiter finally said, wondering if she'd need to see a shrink soon. "So, uh, you free tonight?" Saturn piped up after a few minutes of silence. "Yeah, I am. Should we, um, go somewhere? Together?" she shifted feet, giggling nervously. "Sure, sure, that was what I was, uh, going for. The Rio de Italia sound good?" "Yeah."

The loud moans of their superiors interrupted the awkward silence. Pluto burst into the room soon after, looking terribly frightened and pale. A trail of greenish blood appeared to be dripping from the back of his head. "Pluto what the happened?" Saturn gasped as the creeper collapsed, eyes rolling back in his head.

"Lab… research table… results… the tail… alive… mutations…" he managed to cough out between squirts of green blood. Jupiter called 911 as the scientist slowly stopped writhing on the floor. "Pluto, what went wrong?" Saturn asked again, kneeling beside the battered male.

"Slowpoke tail… mutated… never let… anyone know…" he rasped before passing out. The commanders carefully carried him down to the ambulance, worriedly watching the elderly male be driven away. "Think we should check it out?" the bluenette didn't exactly want to snoop around a lab where a man was just brutally attacked, but what else could be done?

"We probably should, before Mars finds anything to crush her Slowpoke tail Empire dreams. You have your gun, right?" Jupiter nodded in agreement, inching closer to him. "Yes. Let's go…"

The door to Pluto's subterranean world of science was tossed open, resting against the steel wall. The pair cautiously crept in, Jupiter clinging to Saturn's arm. A lone tail rested on a cracked metal table, emitting a strange green glow. The area was bathed in green blood, far more than Pluto would've been able to support and still run up the entire Galactic building. A grunt's half-dissolved head was nestled beneath the severed area of the tail, the rest of the body still oozing the thicker than normal green blood on the floor.

"What the happened here?" Jupiter nearly screamed in horror, backing up. "That tail… I think it mutated, killed the grunt, attacked Pluto, and is trying to eat the head. I hope this is some strange fluke and it won't happen to every tail we sell," the bluenette reached for his gun. He shot the tail, which writhed and made a lurch forward, as if to attack them. He shot it again and a sac of some strange blue liquid burst, coating the grunt's corpse and rotting away the flesh and muscle. Jupiter shrieked, darting out of the room. The tail moved no more, and Saturn quickly followed her.

"We can't tell anyone about this. Mars is going to begin selling the tails tomorrow, they're already shipped out, it'll cost too much to call it all off. I just hope this doesn't happen again…" he sighed, ushering her back up to his room.

The next day would be the launch of the greatest money-making scheme ever, which hopefully wouldn't end in failure. "We still on for tonight?" the male asked. "Yeah, why not? Let's go get drunk and sleep through Mars' crazy idea. You know what just me senseless right now, we're supposed to be finalizing her broadcasts and stuff but I really don't want to. Distract me, won't you?" she simpered, practically pouncing on the lean, feminine man beside her.

"I think I will…"

HYUCK HYUCK HYUCK HYUCK HYUCK HYUCK

"MY SLOWPOKE TAIL EMPIRE IS BLOOMING! SOON I'LL HAVE DOUBLED THE AMOUNT TEAM ROCKET MADE!" Mars cackled, watching her smiling face chanting the joys of Slowpoke tails on every megascreen in Veilstone. Cyrus observed the Galactic stocks skyrocket and a massive influx of funds enter their bank accounts.

When one commercial stopped, another soon began playing. The pale redhead was plastered on nearly every television throughout the regions. "SLOWPOKE TAILS, HYUCK HYUCK HYUCK! ONLY P1,000,000!" she sexily cheered, pumping her fists into the air as Slowpoke tails floated gaily about her.

"It's a real shame Saturn and Jupiter decided to get wasted last night. Now they're sleeping and missing our greatest triumph ever," she sighed, turning away from the window and striding over to sensually plop herself down in the older male's lap. "What's my reward for this?" rolled off her tongue, which flicked out to lick his ear.

With the question of why Pluto was released from a hospital after suffering severe blood loss, and having his blood turned GREEN, whirring around in Cyrus' head, he wasn't exactly in the mood for her antics. He reviewed the reports again. The grunts who had been helping, Saturn and Jupiter, even Pluto himself, they all said everything had gone according to plan and there was nothing wrong. Sure, that was why his chief scientist had been mauled by an unknown force, and a good grunt hadn't been seen since slightly before the ambulance came.

"You're ignoring me. After all I've done for us over the past few days, you can't even give me a simple 'not now, baby' or even a shake of your head. I don't know why I bother, sometimes, you never appreciate me or anything I do…" she moaned accusingly, blinking rapidly so her eyes would water.

"That is most certainly untrue! I am very grateful for you and all that you do for the team. It is simply illogical to think anything remotely to the contrary. You will always be my special little Commander Dearest…" reaching out to caress her slender abdomen, he wondered why he tried so hard to keep her mentally sane. This hero-worship psychopathic illness she had was quite irritating sometimes.

She began pulling off his shirt. "That's good to hear. I was worried for a moment. All I want to do is make you happy and proud of me," her alluringly seductive voice whispered. "I know… I know," he sighed. It was too hard to stay mad at her, when all she ever wanted to do was please him.

"I do make you happy, don't I? You're proud of me, right?" she whimpered, naked and tugging gently at hairs on his chest. "Without a doubt, both are true," going along with whatever she wanted was the easiest way out. She didn't cry or attempt to kill herself. And she needed to be at her best for the Slowpoke tail revolution.

"I've got another interview in an hour… think we'll be done by then?" Mars smirked, dragging her hand up and down his torso. "If we aren't it will cause quite a scandal," he snorted, roughly kissing her neck. "We certainly wouldn't want that…"

HYUCK HYUCK HYUCK HYUCK HYUCK

"I still don't trust this whole thing. It's making Mars crazier than before, and that attack on Pluto creeps me out," Saturn crossed his arms, standing in the background as Mars spun around for the cameras. Jupiter was next to him, warily eying the duo in front of them. Cyrus was directly behind the redhead, juggling Slowpoke tails.

"I agree. Mars has started cackling more frequently now. It was eerie enough when Cyrus did it, but now BOTH of them can't shut up!" she whispered back, pouting. "You're pretty when you pout," the bluenette remarked, reaching out to stroke her face. She blushed, giggling madly.

"SLOWPOKE TAILS HYUCK HYUCK HYUCK!" Mars shouted, mouth open, eyes sparkling, fingers in a peace sign, sprays of Slowpoke tail juice showering the set.

Saturn's expression turned sour. "This is revolting." As the pair began to turn away from the cameras to leave the stage, a small voice called out. "Hello there, are you the people responsible for the return of Sl… Slowpoke… t-t-tails?"

"Well not us exactly, but I suppose you could say that," Jupiter shrugged, looking down at a yellow-skinned, terribly underfed girl with a swollen black eye. "What do you need?" the commander continued. "I… I don't think you know… what the… the tails… can do… to families…" she began sobbing.

If Mars had been paying attention, she'd have attempted to comfort the obviously-troubled child. However, Saturn and Jupiter knew not how to soothe children, nor did they really give a rip about if some dumb kid was having a cry. So they stared down at her, bored.

"Do you have something important to our lives?" the male rolled his eyes, cocking his hip to one side. "Really, we have places to be and stuff," the other commander agreed.

The child looked up with tortured, watery eyes. The commanders stared at each other, uninterested in the pathetic creature before them. "Yes… I'll tell you what happened to me when my very-rich parents bought Slowpoke tails from Team Rocket..." but the girl trailed off.

"Are you having some issues recollecting this event?" magenta-lined lips spat out, pursing together.

"Oh, yes... I remember now... it was a dark night, I was in the alley alone, the big black man came out from behind a dumpster, he came closer to me, I screamed girlishly, he turned away and walked off, saying he was only interested in "the dick." I asked Mommy what that was and she cut my vagina out.

"My mom got high on Slowpoke tail powder and… and…" she broke down, crying too hard to speak.

The commanders blinked. "What the," Jupiter bluntly said at last. "Well your life doesn't suck or anything," was the only thing Saturn could think of.

They whispered together quietly for a moment. "We have determined Slowpoke tails may bring more harm than good to society. The attack on Pluto, the removal of this young girl's reproductive organ… who knows what else they can cause? We'd better research this some more," the male commander announced to nobody in particular.

HYUCK HYUCK HYUCK

Meanwhile, in a land not entirely far away, some sinister creepers were plotting the demise of some familiar faces.

"Lord Obama, what are we going to do? These… these… fiends… are ripping the tails off Slowpokes! This is an outrage! This is animal abuse! We, the Dark Empire of PETA, must put a stop to this nonsense!" a crusty, wrinkled, shriveled, half-Bidoof, half-person thing rasped. His name was Biden, and he scuttled along the floor much like a crab.

The robed, ominous figure at the head of PETA's only table laughed. "Yes, my pet, I will strike soon, once Iran has completed their missiles for me. Tomorrow, we launch our attack on Team Galactic! MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Obama began cackling madly, and Biden soon joined in.

HYUCK HYUCK HYUCK

Saturn and Jupiter were quite distressed. There were many stories, buried or hidden, about the dangers of Slowpoke tails. More people's lives were ruined by Slowpoke tails in some regard than any other way in the year Team Rocket had first introduced the phenomenon. The original salesman who had trolled outside of Azalea Town for many a month was now in the highest-security prison's psychiatric ward, shuddering on the floor, chanting about the many side-effects of the tails constantly.

There was a terror in his eyes unlike any other. He'd seen the true horrors of Slowpoke tails, and it had left him forever mentally insane. The poor old fool was nothing compared to the pimp sporting purple and navy, waggling Slowpoke tails around the routes of Johto, who had made a fortune for the team.

Pluto's recovery was slow, though he appeared to be stable for the moment. As the Team Galactic Bank Accounts swelled outrageously fast, Mars and Cyrus slipped deeper into insanity.

This had to stop now.

There was an unstable aura in the air, an ominous sort of bliss that came just before a great onslaught of unbeatable destruction.

A knock was heard on the Team Galactic Headquarters door. A lone knock. The secretary stood up, walked to the doors, pushed them open, and was promptly tackled to the ground by an overweight furry. Darth Obama strode in, observing his surroundings with an elitist gaze.

Saturn and Jupiter crept down the stairs, peering into the room as PETA's furry army stormed the lobby. Their mouths dropped open, watching the hairy people toting guns sniff around for Slowpokes.

"I'll go get the grunts, don't you do a thing until I get back, you hear me?" she firmly instructed, darting off to find the trigger-happy grunt ward.

"You there! Blue-haired, feminine male! Tell us all you know about Slowpoke tails and this organization's brutal exploitation of the species," Obama hissed, using his dark side powers to pull the commander from his hiding place.

"I know you're a lunatic! And you're exploiting furries' love of things with fur! You'll never get away with whatever vile plot you have!" he bravely shouted, choking as Obama wrapped a lean hand around his neck.

Looking down at the skinny white male, the taller creeper faked a smile. "It's a true shame you won't be around to witness me destroying your fortune," he laughed curtly, squeezing tighter.

"STOP RIGHT THERE YOU CREEPY, ELITIST CRAZY!" Mars shrieked, flying down the stairwell, open-pronged rings securely on her fingers, bouncing off the wall and slashing Obama's hand open.

Saturn fell to the floor and scampered back to safety, hiding behind Jupiter and Cyrus.

A SWAT team rushed into the building, surrounding the bleeding PETA dictator and the underage commander. "Sir, this woman is ripping the tails off Slowpoke and selling them for her own personal profit. Place her under arrest!" Obama ordered, pointing at the redhead.

"Well you were trying to strangle Saturn! And you just forced your way in here! You should be arrested for being a failure," Mars sniffed daintily, folding her arms crossly.

"This is messed up," Jupiter commented from the sidelines. "My great empire… has hit a roadblock," Cyrus sighed, lowering his head into his hands mournfully.

The SWAT team, grunts and furry army began fighting, brutally beating each other up. "I WILL STOP YOUR CARELESS MUTILATION OF SLOWPOKES HERE AND NOW!" Obama roared, eyes glowing red as he began levitating.

"Oh suck an egg. HYUCK HYUCK HYUCK!" the redhead snorted, roundhouse kicking him in a very painful location. She roared with laughter as he fell to the floor, writhing in agony. "THIS IS MY EMPIRE, !" Mars yelled, snapping Obama's neck while he was down.

"Mars, he's right, the Slowpoke tails are unstable, they've made people do crazy things, some of them turn radioactive and attack people! You need to stop! Do you remember the original salesman? The most successful pimp ever? He's now huddled on the floor of an insane asylum, rocking back and forth, trying to get the evils of Slowpoke tails out of his head. Do you want to end up like him? You're mentally troubled already and you have a hero-worship complex, AND you're incurably in love with your older boss. You're so close to the edge, don't push yourself over!" Saturn pleaded, crawling up to the triumphant redhead.

Cyrus looked up, contemplating something. "We have already amassed enough money to buy Microsoft, Apple, and every birth control maker. I believe it is safe to stop our efforts. And… I don't want anything more to happen to your mental state, Mars," he softly stated, slowly walking up to her and lovingly stroking her face.

She looked longingly into his eyes, with that familiar crazed glint Saturn and Jupiter recognized all too well. "Really? You care more about me than wealth? Than getting rich? You really care?" she questioned, lip trembling.

"Yes… If anything were to happen to you, all these funds would mean nothing, without you…" his lips grew closer to hers, almost touching…

"Alright folks clear out, the Sap Show on the USS Loveboat is private, nothing to see here," Jupiter rolled her eyes, ushering the grunts back to their floor, and the furries and SWAT team out the door, locking it.

"So ends the Great Slowpoke Tail Revitalization. Well, we're insanely rich now, and Mars isn't in the fetal position chanting nonsense yet, so I'd say things are fine," Saturn commented, standing up and dusting himself off. "AND I killed Obama!" Mars added, smiling. "And Cyrus said you're more important than success and money!" Jupiter put in, cheering with the other commanders.

Pluto stumbled in, supported by a cranky old Heatran. "What are we going to do with all the Slowpoke?" he huffed, having heard the sales were ending. "Well… Since PETA adores them so much…" Mars winked innocently, eying the receding figures of Biden and the furries.

"This is a most excellent plan, Mars dearest. I am quite pleased you thought of such a devious, cunning plot," Cyrus began cackling madly, eyes lighting up.

"I know right! HYUCK HYUCK HYUCK!" the redhead soon followed him, and they stood in the middle of the lobby shrieking with deranged laughter.

Pluto, still battered, looked at the sane commanders, who looked back and shrugged. All five of them were soon engrossed in laughing, not caring who heard their crazed hilarity. The only thing that mattered was they had about 10 bank accounts with over 100 billion each. And each other, snuggled together in psychopathic bliss.


	11. Halloween Special

So here's something I wrote in less than an hour... just now. it's late and Nov. 1 now but I tried!! And ty to my reviewers! Will make comments on what was said next oneshot... sry for taking so long to post already-written stuff lol I'm horrible about updating xD

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Short Halloween 'shot. It's still Halloween for me!!

"Someone remind me as to why we decided not to drive to that dumb haunted house," Saturn whined, shivering as he wrapped his arms around him. He'd had to fork over his jacket to Jupiter, whose sexy but skimpy Queen of Hearts costume was unsuccessful at keeping her warm in the brisk night air.

Mars and Cyrus rolled their eyes, splitting apart to step around a gravestone. They had been forced to cut through a cemetery to return to Headquarters due to an accident blocking the road. "Because it WAS only a couple blocks away, until those idiots crashed," Jupiter reminded him, stumbling over a broken stone.

The bluenette's mafia outfit had multiple punch stains, several from himself being careless, and several from women who didn't appreciate his flirting. The swelling, purple circle around his eye was the result of Jupiter's fist connecting with his face, after he tried to cop a feel on another woman.

The redhead had gone as Princess Ariel, and somehow convinced Cyrus to be her prince. Even Pluto had gotten into the spirit and dressed up as Igor.

The short male had been trailing behind the others, complaining that the dancing had thrown his hip out. They soon realized his footprints could no longer be heard. A swift breeze blew Saturn's hat off, carrying it away to some far-off resting place. He cursed and kicked the ground, stubbing his toe on a marker.

"This just isn't your night, is it?" Mars giggled, straightening her tiara. "Shut up," he growled back. "How you doing back there Pluto? Pluto? …Pluto?" Mars called, stopping in her tracks and turning around.

He was nowhere to be seen. "Pluto, please indicate to us your location," Cyrus bellowed, scanning the graveyard carefully. No reply came.

"I suppose we have to look for him. Spread out guys, but don't fall and crack your head open on a tombstone. There's enough things rotting in here already," Jupiter scowled, daintily stepping over a hole.

They each took a different direction, looking around for any place Pluto may have fallen or collapsed. Jupiter had walked behind a tree to search when she heard Mars scream. When she tried to turn around, a solid mass blocked her path. She shrieked too as something gagged her mouth.

"Jupiter?" "Mars?" the males called out at the same time to their respective girlfriends. When neither female replied, they jogged back towards each other, feeling it was no longer safe to be alone.

"Cyrus I'm scared. This is creepy, three people don't just vanish in a cemetery on Halloween night unless there are zombies or ghosts or skeletons kidnapping them and forcing them into their undead legions!" Saturn whined once again, nervously eying his surroundings.

While the taller man looked visibly concerned, his voice rang strong. "I am sure there is no supernatural foul play at work here. It is probably the prank of several horny teenagers," he stated, though it sounded like a poor excuse.

"Oh great a bunch of drunk losers who can't get laid are going to knock up our girls. We have to find them!" the younger male bravely roared, striking a pose and setting forth to look for the missing commanders.

The earth began trembling, a large red welt forming before the two males. "HOLY COW!" Saturn yelled, jumping back into Cyrus, who tried to stand firm and maintain his ground. An eerie set of smoldering yellow and red eyes peered out of the gaping opening now leaking magma.

"Wh-who are you?" Cyrus stuttered, now quite worried about the safety of his underlings. "I am your doom," a raspy, deep voice droned as a wide, toothy mouth opening, large teeth dripping blood, making almost a striped pattern over the black expanse. "What have you done with Commanders Mars and Jupiter, and Pluto?" the boss once again questioned, glaring back at the creature.

"They made a lovely snack," it let out a lone snort of laughter, swaying from side to side as bloody claws dragged it out of the hole. The magma didn't seem to bother its deep crimson feet as it plodded along. "What do you want with us?" Saturn cried out, looking ready to begin sobbing.

There was a loud sigh from the beast, "You really ought to feed your females more, they aren't exactly filling." The males' eyes went wide, and they attempted to back up. A large, cold object prevented them from turning escaping, and a black car glowing bright blue had recently stopped behind them.

"It's all over, son," the creature laughed again, chortling to itself. The car began moving to the left, pushing the pair closer and closer to the creeping monster. "Oh this is a dreadful way to end the night. I haven't gotten laid yet and now some flaming critter is going to eat us alive," the whiny commander complained once again, folding his arms as the beast opened its mouth.

"This is Pluto's Heatran approaching us and Rotom controlling the vehicle," Cyrus suddenly stated, frowning at the Pokemon, which came to an abrupt halt. "You just HAD to recognize him, didn't you?" the disappointed scientist huffed, crawling out of the hole and helping the two gagged girls out. They glared angrily at him, storming back to the other males.

Rotom emerged from the car and guiltily settled on Heatran's head. "You probably set up that accident just so you could try and spook us, didn't you?" Mars snorted, folding her arms crossly. "Well yes, I did. Every evil old genius has to have a little fun every once in a while," he smiled, climbing onto his Heatran's back.

"I hope you rot," the magenta-haired female retorted, turning around and climbing into the car. "Have Rotom drive us home," Cyrus dejectedly sighed, upset he'd been so easily duped.

"You were scared," Saturn giggled in the car. "You were worried about me," Mars happily grinned. "You were stuttering you were so terrified," Jupiter added. "This is all false information," Cyrus informed them, attempting to look as emotionless as possible. "You look like a kid who didn't get what they wanted on Christmas." "Be quiet or I'll demote you." "You're making threats!"

Cyrus plugged his ears and chanted "I'm not listening." It was better than listening to the commanders carry on. The car cackled, Rotom's sense of humor startling many people walking on the sidewalk.

Pluto just smiled ahead from the back of his Heatran.


End file.
